Tara, awesome people don't publicly call others "butt plugs" and that was just plainly bad on my part. I need to work on my awesomeness, obviously and painfully, but thank you for the vote of confidence. You're not too shabby yourself. :-)
Katie, thanks about Uncle Harold. I'll miss him, he was my second favorite uncle and my favorite uncle is only such because he looks and sounds just like my dad. Uncle Harold was a rebel on Miss Arse's side of the family, giving them their first ever divorce and later living with Aunt Gerry for years before they actually married. Almost 40 years they had together and such love and devotion...so sweet and so sad, now.
Sorry about Uncle Harold... even at 80 years old and after a good long life, they are still loved and missed so much!
Angela's date went well - she had fun, said that the guy was nice, and the headliner commedianne (sp??) too lazy to look up the correct spelling!! anyway - was a woman called the grandmother from hell, high recommended that we go see her - the second opener was another woman, a lesbian (says Angela) who described themselves as a little bit Ellen and a little bit (some guy angela can't remember who but says it was funny as hell!) So sounded like she had fun. Friday was ok - Ang worked so it was a long day for her, but we talked about Angel and that day 3 years ago and we are going together to pick out an urn for her ashes soon, that is the one thing ang regrets is not having them in an urn, they are in a cardboard box from the funeral home... in her memory box the hospital gave her. The pink eye boys are getting better, Patti is feeling better but still coughing ALOT and almost out of her cough med and her inhaler, so refills tomorrow I think... I am feeling ugh tonight, sorta like having been underwater for too long, hope it isn't the start of anything...
Would love a shortround picture....
I am excited we are going to be having two new Daisy babies... that will be fun!!
I'm also excited some old friends have been checking in here, nice to see you all!!
Almost 3 am - I think its time for bed, takes me forever to read and catch up, after I read I run out of time to chat! and it doesn't help that I follow the links people post and go read them...
AP, I just wanted to say I'm sorry about your uncle=( Altho of course it is better when people have long, adventurous lives, it still doesn't make it automatically "easy" to lose them.
Kaytie.......thank you so much for your beautiful and kind words. Chris says he would be thrilled for anyone to pass along the video. We got an email from a woman in Dallas today.......she saw Chris' video and while picking up allergy meds today she remembered what we said about using those free blood pressure kiosk chairs.......so she decided to take the 90 seconds and do it. Her top number was over 220! And bottom was almost 140. She hadn't had her blood pressure checked since having her babies 10 and 12 years ago........it just fell by the way side.
Of course nobody can say what would or would not have happened to her, if the blood pressure had not been checked. She got a stat referral to a GP from her gynecologist and will be put on medication to lower and control her BP.
She thanked Chris for possibly saving her life and said if he had not taken the time to share his story, her children might have been orphaned. Chris was SO THRILLED to feel like he is making a difference.
I am home for 2 days, resting and catching up on all the sleep I miss when over at the apartment sleeping (or not sleeping ever ever ever as the case may be) and I just had 2 fab naps in a row.......only woke up to text with Chris and eat! Just thought I'd mention that so all the sweeties who told me to get some rest and take care of me would know I did/am. I'm about to go back to sleep again and I'm excited about it as it involves my cuddly dogs and my own bed. =)
Hope everyone is having a good week.......thank you again for all of the lovely comments on Chris' video. I was surprised and happy at how he truly seemed to find joy in each one.
Uncle Harold, RIP. I can imagine what the siblings are going through right now. MIL has one sib left of six; when the others started going they saw the writing on the wall.
Elisabeth, awesome that the woman let you and Chris know about the impact on her life. I hope lots of people are impacted.
About the photo - I have been in and around schools my whole life and managed to get 3 including disruptive son all the way through grad school with no srrests. The finger gun was inappropriate and deserved a reprimand, perhaps for policy's sake and depending on the girl's record, a one day in-school suspension. I can't buy "terroristic threat." And I hate that something goes in the permanent record for behavior like that.
And Short-round update, yeah. Did that child get a name yet?
Kristin, No more softball if you're going to keep getting hurt. Try table tennis.
Just catching up. Sorry to hear about Uncle Harold AP and that was big of you to apologize to Robin on here. I think the big blog blow ups have brought out some ugly sides of some people (myself included). People have typed somethings that they wouldn't ordinarily say to someones face. It's ok to not like someone, but people can get downright nasty when they are behind a keyboard. I'm not referencing anyone in particular, just making a general statement.
CK sometimes it is more trouble than it is worth to take a day off though huh?
Jill, The lesson plans you need to leave take way more work than the ones you have in you. I know lots of teachers who would just not take a day no matter how germ ridden they were because they couldn't tolerate having subs.
Muliebrity there were 3 Robins on OHIH: Robin (Alabama Slacker Mom), Robin2, and RiM. I haven't seen Robin around since OHIH imploded. I know she updates her blog often though.
Aaah. Kristin, that happens all the time at my house. And then later, he'll ask me a question about what we just talked about. Drives me insane!!!!! Later today he'll ask you how you got hurt :p
Kristin, he may have heard you - some men seem to think the best bruise is one of the goals of the game. At least I have a son-in-law like that. Sorry. I try to make excuses for man brain.
Matt does that on a daily basis. He'll come ask me something like "Did you ever find out from your Mom....?" and I will say, "Yes, I told you right when I got done talking to her" "No you didn't." "Yes I did" "No you didn't" "Yes, I did! You were... (playing on the computer, playing with Ryla, eating, staring straight at me and not listening..)" Then I usually get an "Oh. Okay."
Off to play group and then I am pretty sure it is straight to nap time.
I know, I try to remember he is male (no offense Chris) but I wanted a *tad bit of sympathy - or cool, let me see - or how did it happen?
Oh well.
and LM finds it humorous that I am in pain and started imitating me, since I tend to yelp and then laugh hysterically when I am down on my knees with him.
SW - Thanks for posting that roasted asparagus recipe - I'm going to try that one this week. I thought of you while traveling with my sister a couple of weekends ago - we had many Seinfeld moments!
So did anybody see the Today Show segment this morning about walking away from your mortgage voluntarily? (i.e., people who could afford to keep paying their mortgage, but didn't want to because the value of the house was so much less than the amount of the mortgage.) It was interesting, because a couple of people were making the case that it isn't immoral or unethical, just a good business decision. In fact, I was a little disappointed that the Today Show didn't really give much airtime to the counterargument as to why it is immoral and/or unethical.
SW - We went to Nashville for the weekend. Mark had a conference there, so we made it a party weekend, i.e., hotel on the company:) at the Opryland Hotel.
Hi Deb in MD - I don't think I've met you before. I'm Margaret in VA :)
On walking away from a mortgage - sure it makes perfect sense to the people who bought too much house and now want to walk away - drives me insane! Accountability is dead in this country. There was a woman on the news the other night crying the blues because her townhouse - her $450,000 townhouse - was "taken" from her. She said she didn't realize what the mortgage would be until 2 days before closing but she had fallen in love with the house and went through with it anyway. She took 0 accountability for any part of it - blamed her realtor and her lender.
Thanks Jill! I feel for your back problems. I had a large herniation 2 years ago, had surgery and it's reherniated. Sometimes the sciatic pain is so bad I can't walk. I hope you're feeling better soon!
Some of the people that are walking away make more in a year than we do here in 3. My mortgage is my top priority. Thankfully we're not upside down in ours but it's still a struggle to pay.
I think alot of people get the fright or flight and just opt to walk away because it's too hard to for them to tighten the belt. But here I am comparing the cost of a can of green bean, generic mind you, to keep a roof over my head.
Well, SAndy, that's your *own fault if you want to be all grown up and responsible and stuff. :-D Seriously, that's the attitude (IMO) everyone ought to take - it's not just the bank who suffers a hit when someone is foreclosed on, it hits the rest of us in other ways as well. The story about the woman who had "just falled in love with the house" annoys me to no end. There ought to be some kind of repercussion. I do get, though, that there are some folks in some instances who just absolutely cannot avoid it.
Some of these walk away people have no idea what the snowball effect is for the rest of us. We can't refinance because there were two foreclosures around the corner. We could poop golden eggs and the lenders wouldn't care just because of those two houses.
During the course of this whole economic meltdown, our house went from $285k to $199K. Sure I could walk away from it and chalk it up. But, I am too emotionally and financially attached to my house. With all the money we have paid into it, etc., I could never do it.
I don't fault people who can't afford it for walking away from their mortgages. This story included a couple who said they *could afford it, just thought it was a bad investment. And the wife said, "Now we've got a much bigger house for a lower payment!" That's what bothers me, like JM's dream house, bought at her old neighbors' expense.
that's not fair. what ap said when i went back and read was mean.
r2 sent her an email. ap apologized.
at some point you have to trust that people are basically good and that we all have our differences. meanness is never ok in my book. name calling either.
ap,
i'm glad you said you were sorry. it really shook my mental understanding of you when i saw you'd said that about someone with whom you used to be friendly.
I am positively disgusted by people who decide to purposely walk away from their mortgage, even if their house's value dropped.
The drop in value was foreseeable as we were in an economic bubble. That doesn't make it a valid argument to stop making your mortgage payment.
The problem stems from many people wanting to buy houses they couldn't afford in the first place, and the banking system allowing them to do it. There are responsibilities on both sides.
Look where we are now. IF we're lucky, we'll have a W-shaped recession, of which I'm sure we haven't seen the worst yet. IF luck is not on our side, then it'll be an L-shaped recession, much like what happened in Japan.
Many economists think there is another crisis right around the corner - one on credit-cards debt.
Consumerism is one of the great diseases of this century, in my opinion.
RiM, I totally agree that there are instances where people just can't make the payments like loss of job, medical emergencies.
In order to make some extra cash, my husband and I sold a 1973 Corvette Stingray that was in mint condition. That has been the only time I have ever saw my husband cry.
people who walk from the their homes b/c they don't want to pay on it anymore make me mad too. especially people who just find another bigger, cheaper home that someone else just left b/c it dropped in value.
Rhys, you lost me. What wasn't fair? I didn't say AP's apology was unwarranted. I simply wondered, and I have the right to do that, you know, whether the irony of an immediate and sincere apology issued so that all who saw the meanness could also see the apology, was lost on her. That's all. So unless you meant something else?
Corrine, I couldn't agree with you more! I don't think that we've seen the last of the problems.
We are currently debt free except for our mortgage. We are in the process of building up our emergency fund (jeez, do I sound like Dave Ramsey) of which we had none.
The lenders should be ashamed of themselves and we need to stop being so materialistic.
to me it sounded like r2 could not possibly appreciate an apology because of what she has done to you or anyone else in the past.
if anyone can ever stop with the back and forth, and the implied/inferred insults, someone has to stop first and apologize. then the person involved would accept it and apologize too.
i just found it to be in poor taste to mock her again. she's nice, just like ap. and sometimes our inner ugly side gets the best of us.
Well, my experience with her being 'nice' and has been an entirely different one than yours, I guess. It's all good.
I wasn't intimating she couldn't appreciate an apology. Who doesn't appreciate one? But she was the sole person over there who at least vocally supported Wendy in not apologizing for her behavior. Ironic, no?
I hear you on the ray of sunshine. I think I've cussed more this morning before 8:30 than most people cuss in a year. Slammed my finger in the medicine cabinet. Burned my hand on the stove. Cut my hand on a knife going into the dishwasher (that drew the most impressive string of words - sailors have *nothing on me).
i woke up at 3 b/c it was warmer in our room than it's been all winter
then i had a horrible dream
couldn't find lia's meds. the PT called to schedule suff. we've got to consider CP, we've got to consider seizures, etc. which means *i* need to pay attention even more and make lists.
then there's the mess that's me. i need to figure out what i need hormone-wise to put me closer to my even keel self i used to be.
Morning ladies...sorry I dipped out so suddenly last night...I had to go pick up my dumbass son....long story I would rather not get too deep into let's just say the fact he is still alive is a tribute to what a good mother I am LOL.
Now as for the mortgage discussion going on...I will tell you that probably 90% of the time I cant understand why people walk away.
I recently went to work with the boys to a foreclosure that had to be cleaned out. When we were checking the house out we noticed right off that the foundation in the back corner of the house was literally falling off. Yeah they walked away when they found out that the bank, who had known that this was a problem but reassured them that they could refinance after being in the house for a year to get it fixed. They discovered when it was time that the bank would no longer do that because the house was now worth $100,000 less then what they bought it for. They bought it for right around $200,000 and with the combination of the bubble bursting and the foundation issues they only valued the house at $89,000.
Freakish considering this was an older home but it had a good sized lot, it was two stories and had a basement as well. They basically told the bank to FO and gave them back the house and were in litigation over the difference in value considering the bank KNEW about the foundation issues.
This however is the exception not the norm with people walking away from their mortgages.
Could you convince the other women I live with that knives need to go blade down in the dishwasher???!!!!!
Helen gets so upset at me when I put them in that way..."They wont get as clean that way". Ummmmm hello I am anal when doing dishes....they go in the stupid dishwasher CLEAN!!!!
I personally do not enjoy being stabbed in the hand when emptying the stupid thing. And it isnt like she is the one doing the dishes!!!
Shanon, the best point made on the Today Show segment in favor of walking away was that the bank shouldn't have loaned the money in the first place. The bank is in the better position to know the value of the home versus the amount of the loan than the homeowner is, really. Why should the homeowner take the entire burden of the bank's mistake. The counterargument, of course, is that you should know if you're buying more house than you can afford. And you should have known about the housing bubble. But not everybody stays on top of things like that. I don't, really. I'm terrible with financial matters.
Morning Daisies! FT - Miss you and hope all is well. Thank you Corinne for update! I was worried FT got knocked out by the UltraThin Statue she was creating for us :-D
Jill - Sorry your back is giving you fits. What helps for the pain of that?
Kristin - Back in the days of my DH reading newspapers and barraging me with the same damn questions that I.had.just.answered, I cured it by cutting a hole in his favorite newspaper section. When he lifted it up to read, there I was on the other side of the paper, smiling and waving at him. He laughed and got the hint.
Sorry though that your SO blew you off on being hurt. That is not cool.
SW I can see both sides of that argument. At the same time however I have to stand on my high horse and say that even though I could have probably gotten a home loan I didnt....why? Because it would be completely stupid, I am in no position to be buying a home.
Also though I think that a lot of banks were kind of sneaky in how they did things and yes they really do know better the value of a house and in all honesty should not be jacking up prices by 100K on homes that they know arent even worth that.
It is kind of setting people up for failure so that they can recuperate tens of thousands more then they would have originally.
RIM--can you give it a rest already? My issues with anything you posted at SiP had nothing to do with being all up in Wendy's butt or being her BFF. It had to do with my feelings that you had used Rhys to make Wendy look bad. You'd had the email for months, so if your concern were for Rhys and what you saw as Wendy's double-standard, why didn't you send it to Rhys months ago, instead of dragging it out last week? It looked to me like you used rhys's feelings toake someone else look bad. And I said just that. It is my opinion. Of I am wrong about that, then you are more than welcome to explain how I am wrong about that. But to come over here and say what you did about me in a forum I normally don't read and never post on as if your opinion on the matter was gospel truth--I don't get that. We can have different opinions without one of us being up someone else's ass.
Regarding the very serious business of loading dishwashers, yes, knives need to go down. The rest of the silverware? I like it up, so that it can get clean and doesn't get stuck together. My ex-MIL would come behind me and turn everything upside down, I'd come behind her, flip it back up, etc., lol. Her reasoning for having it down is so that when you unload it your hands are touching the handle, not the eating surface. My reasoning was I'm not cleaning out the horse barn and then unloading the dishwasher without washing my hands or something. My hands are clean.
Sandy - That is great that you are building up your emergency fund!
SW - "the best point made on the Today Show segment in favor of walking away was that the bank shouldn't have loaned the money in the first place. The bank is in the better position to know the value of the home versus the amount of the loan than the homeowner is, really."
You know, while I agree that banks were highly irresponsible in their handling of financial matters (I am not only talking about loans, but also toxic assets, hedgefunds, etc.), I will never accept the aforementioned argument as a valid justification to default on your mortgage payment. People always want more and more, and never think about the consequences. My father works in a bank, and though the housing market did not crash as hard here as it did in the US, he did tell us that he was appalled by the loans that were granted to some people. Getting a loan means having a responsibility towards the bank and the economy as a whole. You can't just change your mind and default on your payment because things are not going your way.
Seriously, what did people expect? For the house values to keep on skyrocketting forever? That is ludicrous.
I know there are legitimate situations like the one you described Shannon and also situations where people did do their best but because they lost their job or whatever they couldn't make their payments. I have no pity for the people who bought what they knew they couldn't afford - and I believe a good percentage of people did know. When you close on a house you know what your payment is going to be. People need to take responsiblity for themselves.
Absolutely Margaret...people do need to ultimately take responsibility for themselves. I mean seriously I think that buying a house is a serious responsibility...that is why I still havent tried to buy one LOL I need my ducks all in a row before that happens.
Shannon - the people you just mentioned with the foundation issue, I am assuming there was nothing in writing from the bank guaranteeing them the refinance? That seems like something a loan officer, trying to get a loan shoved through, would say just to make it happen for their own benefit, you know? But impossible to try and come back on the bank on since it's just a he said/she said thing.
Margaret - Exactly. Losing a job, an unexpected disease that leads to astronomical medical bills, etc. are atrocious situations and I could understand someone defaulting on their payment for that reason.
The bifg difference is that job loss, serious sickness, etc. have always been reasons why people would fail to make their mortgage payment. What was typical of this crisis is that people purposely decided to walk away from their mortgage because the value of their house dropped OR because they just came to the realization that they never could afford the mortgage in the first place. Purely irresponsible.
RiM I dont know the details in fact it was all what I heard from the neighbor and his wife LOL But I can tell ya I think I would be getting a lawyer in a case like that as well. I think it probably was one of those mouth service situations with nothing on paper and that really sucks.....Something to remember if they are going to take the time to say it make them write it down as well.
Shannon, that's how it should be. Buying a home is a serious life commitment IMO. If I bought every house we looked at that I fell in love with, I'd be living in a box under a bridge somewhere. IMO, I feel that Americans are impulse purchasers besides having to keep up with the Jones'.
My neighbor is a great example. New car every couple of years. He takes loans off of his 401(k). He's still paying on 2 different cars at this point and wonders why he can't get ahead!
Unforeseeable emergencies or circumstances I can understand. To walk away as in the case of the couple on the Today Show is bull.shit.
We had neighbors move in with 4 kids. All 4 kids were enrolled into a Christian private school. Come time for Christmas, they e-mailed all their neighbors that they did not have enough money for Christmas presents and food. "But please don't send meat as we are vegetarians". We all helped out as we could. A year later they walked away from the house.
Total scammers. And that is my opinion of the Today Show couple. Scammers.
Shannon - I know in the past I've done just believed what I was told. When we built our last house, we went through a mortgage broker, who got our construction financing through one bank (1st Interstate) and said he had 'talked to Joann' at our local credit union and she said it was a 'for sure' thing. So into it we merrily went, knowing that the loan at 1st Interstate, being a construction loan, was several points higher than a conventional loan and that it had to be paid off in one year, thinking, since we had been told, that our conventional financing was in place. Not so much. He had in fact talked to Joann, had explained our situation to her, she knew who we both were, etc., but he did not tell her how much the loan was for, and it was above the amount that she personally could approve at the local level. Both being self-employed, we didn't meet the criteria to qualify there, it was heading into the time when financing was getting tougher and tougher to acquire and we couldn't get financed *anywhere. We ended up getting (and paying through the nose) two extensions at 1st Interstate, and finally getting our end financing at the credit union, anyway, but it took months of me yelling and crying and slinging snot and threatening and calling everyone and their dog. So. Lesson learned. If someone tells me something ... I'm going to want it in writing from here on.
It is a lesson that really sucks especially when you have to be bitten to know you even needed to learn it.
Ok well I have to think about getting my ass in gear to go see the doctor about my fatness. Hopefully I will get some constructive stuff and not just judgmental stuff.
When we sold our house to move here, the couple that bought our old house had not only a first mortgage but a second mortgage to make of the difference that they didn't qualify for. Here they were just starting out and are now in debt up to their ears. This was 6 years ago this month.
Sandy, that second was really common for a time - all three of my kids bought with one, but fortunately none of them got messed up. They were all buying when they knew their circumstances were improving, and luckily they were right. And none of them bought McMansions.
RiM, I thought you wrote it that way for emphasis.
I did just go buy a sub at a local store, some Doritos (I know: so healthy, right?) and some cherry cheesecake. I felt like I earned it. Plus cherries are fruit, so it's healthy, right?
We have (well, I had -now he has) a second mortgage on that house. Even with the housing bubble and having two mortgages, though, he still owes less than it's worth. He couldn't sell it even for what he owes just because nothing is moving here, but he's sitting okay in that he doesn't want to leave it ever, anyway.
Taiya -- Cheesecake is fruit *and dairy. Both daily requirements. :nod: And Doritos are in the yellow food group, also very important. The sub was bad. ::frowns disapprovingly::
My housing opinion is this, since I am coming late to it.
People need to take some responsibility. I am not saying everyone was unavoidable, or that there aren't circumstances. However people need to stand up and be accountable for their own actions. Our lending company wanted to give us a quarter mill to buy a house when we could very obviously *just afford the $75,000 we were shopping around with. It's crap that they set people up for failure, but people need to do their own math and be responsible for their own actions instead of just thinking "I want that" and jumping in.
The sub has lettuce? ha. And she isn't actually sick, KaytieJ, just has a yeast infection so she is acting out more. She really is in a great mood at home. just didn't want to listen to me at play group.
I have to make an Abby Cadabby cake for Saturday that I am not looking forward to. Why did I agree to do this? I could just make a cheesecake. i am sure that is suitable for a little girls first bday party.
Rhys - I had to look up Abby Cadabby, too. Sesame Street, apparently.
And thanks, Kaytie! We will have his girls every night this week except Weds., and all weekend, overnights, so ... Weds will be the birthday dinner. This weekend is a thing called Rendezvous -- a big parade, booths and games and food and all that junk in the park, sand drags, a rodeo, black powder shooting events (whee) etc., so we'll do that whole thing on Saturday, come home and have a fire with hot dogs and marshamallows and all that junk. Should be fun. ::she says hopefully but with doubt in her voice:::
OK...:::said in my best Mulie voice::: Who do I have to f*** to set up a Pay Pal account? I hear y'all talking about it and I have no idea how or where to set one up!
Abby Cadabby is apparently a Sesame Street character. I did not know until i agreed to make this cake for my friend. She is pink and purple. I don't watch Sesame Street. I know Elmo and Big Bird, though.
I say go for it, Robin! Then take pictures. :) And tell us how good it is. Then i will just *have to make it.
Kaytie - just go to Paypal.com and there's an option to sign up. You can link it to a credit card, to your bank account, whatever. Linking to your bank account only takes a few days to verify, IIRC.
RF - It is pretty fun, usually. I have the yearly fight with Katie that she can't ride her horse in the parade, because he's never been in a parade, and that a few thousand people all waving crap around and throwing candy and sirens going and horns blowing, on asphalt with a horse fresh off winter, does not a good combination make. Every year this decision is met with much disdain.
I grew up riding in parades, but my dad always rode with us (I'm not riding in a parade these days, no how, no way) and our horses by that time (4th of July ) had had their legs ridden off doing the spring ranch work. My horses don't get ridden or used nearly as much, and definitely not by this time of year. I'd consider letting her do it if she'd let me lead her, although I'd not feel real comfortable with that, but there is NO way she's having any of that, either. So. I usually use the "but you wouldn't get any candy" argument and that works, albeit grudgingly.
I can understand that, RiM. That's one thing I never did with Trig because I was wary of what could happen. He was great, but he was Arab. While it suited me to a 't' to have him be a little more high strung, crowds were not something I wanted to subject us to. Just in case.
Head on out here, Taiya. We'll go boot shopping. I do hope to ride more this year, that's for sure. Last year was mostly a bust. I moved cows for a friend in the spring, then all hell broke loose with my marriage, and I rode maybe twice in the summer, and once on a benefit ride in the fall, and that's it. I was invited last Sunday, but Jerry's feet have not even been looked at since I pulled shoes in October or November, and he needs that done first. And a wormer. And a stern talking to about his behavior.
The liberal in me (which is about 95 percent of me :-)) says okay, if we're holding individuals to personal responsibility, why aren't we holding corporations to the same standard? It was banks and bankers who created the housing bubble and caused the recession. Have you read about what Goldman Sachs did that is the basis of fraud charges now?
This American Life had a good piece on the financial securities scheme that helped lead to the recession. This made it easier for me to understand: http://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/405/inside-job
RiM, what you just wrote really surprised me - I thought your marriage was much more a thing of the past. I guess I had that idea because you and Kelly seem so much "married." Though I guess with that much worshipping going on . . .
RF - We were separated, sort of, for longer than that, and the marriage had been in trouble for a *very long time. The final sinking happened in March or so, but it was really just the formality. Still stressful. I knew Kelly for years before that (no funny business) and it just kind of clicked, I guess. Old souls or something. I don't know. That's why when people express surprise at how fast Travis remarried it's hard to really say much -- we were both done a long, long time ago, just hadn't officially finished it, you know?
Ummmm I would just like to announce that TODAY is considered a holiday by some and that a cheesecake is perfect in celebration :)
And I get to go back to the doctors office again tomorrow....She wants me to fast tonight and come back in to get a full panel work up with my BLOOD!!! Have I ever mentioned I have a thing with needles and dont like them sucking my blood out?
But she did say that my thyroid does feel a little enlarged so yeah she was very glad that I came in today since it has been well over 10 years since I had a blood panel done.
I will make a shocking confession...this is the one time of year I partake in the herbage.....and it kind of sucks because I am supposed to not eat after nine....but then again I could always go in after nine..it isnt set in stone I just have to do a 12 hour fast :)
RF- we were. :-) When I think about all the times we sat and just gabbed about everyday crap waiting for kids at dance and whatever, it feels surreal that we are *together now.
LOL I will tell you that in my opinion you arent missing much.....it is really not my cup of tea but I figure once a year I will make an exception. What is really horrible is that when I was into such things it was the meth that was my cup of tea....let us just say that I know avoid that and anything like it like the plague. Even though it has been 13 years since I last did that stuff I still consider myself an addict because I still miss it and like it...not even close to being worth it.
Shannon - I don't think I know that. Tell me. And good for you on the meth thing. The stuff I have sat and typed from experts on addiction regarding that stuff scares the ever-loving crap out of me. I have seen firsthand watching a loved one get sucked into that world what it can do to you in every aspect of your well-being from physical to emotional to financial. So very scary.
Well Robin not only is Eugene very green with trees and parks...it is also a place where there is a lot of herbage grown and such....and now with the hippie movement in this area we are green for going green....and then never mind the Ducks with their Green and Yellow :)
Shannon - I am so glad you went in to get your thyroid checked! Sucks getting stuck for the blood draw. I do NOT do needles! Sounds weird, but it totally creeps me out, too.
:::tossing pink duct tape::: If you get in a trauma and hauled into ER - they more than likely will do a Trauma Lab panel, that includes drug check. Lots of needles.
Shannon - I knew that about the river and the greenery and all, but not about the lots of herbage. 'course I-5 in and of itself is a drug superstore, so that shouldn't surprise me!
Happy birthday to Mr. EL, and unless I get some motivation between now and then, a storebought cheesecake will probably be what happens!
We should hold the banks responsible and I'm cheering at what's happening to GS. I worked for an investment association in the last 90s -our board was make up of the big guys/girls from Wall and they were the most vile of creatures I hope to ever encounter in my life. To say they would run over their own mothers to make more $ is an understatement. I would listen to their husbands/wives on outings at board meetings and wonder how anyone could think that was life. Truly - the bonfire of the vanities.
Kay going in to get things checked is making me feel better about things. I mean I am one who doesnt go to the doctor unless there is something really wrong or it is time for that annual girl exam. I feel better about going in though since my doctor does think there could be stuff going on...I hate the idea of being a hypochondriac to no end.
And the getting away from the meth thing was freaking hard....probably 75% of the people I considered my friends were all doing it and I had to go for a few years without any friends because I refused to get sucked back in. I tell my kids that anything you put in a needle or up your nose is the shit you dump on the floor because it will suck you in.
Robin - ((())) about seeing your loved one go through meth. On the purely physical that I have seen, the teeth rot out, their hearts are shot and they are OLD. Frankly pisses.me.off that they are clogging up the ERs and ICUs in many areas. And on the other side, I am so happy when I hear that a drug addict has gotten off of it! Proud of you Shannon!
He has a late meeting tonight, so probably just some worship ;) Got him some new wine glasses and a wine aerator, so maybe not even that! AND, as a bonus, he will bring dinner home from the clubhouse after the meeting. And there is always the cheesecake. So, a pretty good day for me. Um, I mean *him.
Margaret - When my husband was going back to Wall Street frequently to deal with Financiers (sp), he said they were the vilest, meanest people he had ever met and he hated going there. He was miserable with that job and is so much happier now. Glad you got out of there, too!
Kaytie - it was Travis's mom, and she always proves what I say about a meth addict fits no stereotype. She was the middle white class, suburban housewife, four healthy kids, nice car, nice house, new furniture, perfect decorations, entertained all the time, nice clothes, the "right" friends, active in church, etc., etc., etc. Terrible marriage, and he ended up forcing her to go into an alcohol rehab - and she saw what she thought was an out and took it, in the form of a guy who was in there on a court mandated rehab. Tried it 'just once' with him, and the rest is history. Ended up with a friggin' meth lab IN HER HOUSE. She avoided going to prison by spilling everything she knew and naming names. She was probably in that life maybe five or seven years, and she's out now, clean, back in her church, trying to figure out who the hell she even is. In some ways she's back to the woman I knew and loved, but it changed her, on the inside, even more than it changed her physically. It broke her. Watching that happen, and how her family chose to handle it is probably, in all reality and looking back, what kind of started the demise of my marriage to her son. They were embarrassed of her and chose to look the other way and pretend like it wasn't happening and ignore her (admittedly infrequent) pleas for help. And maybe they were right, because she wasn't really ready for help then, but how they could do that, I still don't understand.
Anyway. Geesh. That was kind of long and emotional.
The company we had over on Saturday - sitting around the fire and they said something about probably needing to get going, someone said something about oh, you just want to go home and have sex, and she, without missing a beat, goes, "Nah, he's already had one beer." lol.
Robin - Thank goodness she got off it! It is such a horrible feeling to see it happening and all you do does not help. Sounds like you are still friends with her. That is good. She needs friends.
Weighing in late on the mortgage thing too. I worked in mortgage for over 10 years for a variety of companies: large banks, local banks, investors, etc and can tell you one of the problems with brokers is that they made money based on the loan amount. They also got people into adjustable rate mortgages because they figured that they could refinance them in a few years and make more money doing it. They banks knew that many of their loans were Federally backed, so as long as they met the Feds guidelines, they were gold. There was a lot of money changing hands and there was very little concern for the borrower. I am on my 4th house and 5th loan and can tell you that I rarely saw paper work in a adequate amount of time.
SW- I, too, agree that corporations should be held accountable for this crisis. They were highly irresponsible and *knew exactly where this was going to end up. They knew it from the very start.
Goldman Sachs, well, were the puppet master in all this. They also were kind of protected against any consequences the bubble burst might have because most gvt officials dealing with finances are/were from Goldman Sachs.
My macro-economics professor said something very interesting, he said the American gov should have let more banks fail - you know, besides Lehman Brothers - no matter what the consequences could have been. The reason he said that? Because we are now exactly where we were before the crisis. The mindset is the same; we are creating new bubbles and toxic assets remain in the possession of major banking institutions. The system is bound to fail if it stays that way.
Personally, I have the utmost respect for Jamie Dimon (CEO & chairman of JPMorgan Chase). He managed to keep JPMorgan Chase afloat when every other bank was failing. Not to forget that he saved the American gvt's ass by accepting its request to buy BearStearns at the very beginning of the crisis, in March 2008.
"Last Man standing : the ascent of Jamie Dimon and JPMorgan Chase" by Duff McDonald is definitely worth reading.
SW - Absolutely businesses need to be held accountable and the government for their lending practices and decisions.
Ultimately, though, no one is pointing a gun or uncocked finger at anyone's head to buy a house, and so it is the buyer's responsibility.
Look at all the people that did the balloon payment method because the initial percentage was so low. It was GAMBLING and they lost because the value of their homes went down, the stock market crashed and they could not make the balloon payment. However, during the hey dey and low percentage time, they were buying new cars, boats, private school education, etc. I SAW this. We had that option presented to us and saw the BS that it was and took out a fixed with a higher interest rate. That was in the San Francisco area and stock market hey dey. Many people we knew down there thought we were nuts because they chose the other less interest balloon method loan. Most of them have lost their homes because of THEIR decision. I do not feel any pity for them in that instance. They gambled and they LOST. I HATE it though, what it did to their families.
Margaret- I am in md too. Deb and I live maybe 20 minutes from each other and have never met.
Deb- I did see that! We have lacrosse practice, and a bday, but I am going to try to get there early. I would really like to get 2.
Shannon- I am proud of you too. Steve's sister and nieces were/all addicts. His sis died last year of hep B. You would have thought that would make a diffence to them, but they continue to be in and out of recovery. It is hard to watch. Sorry you had to go through that as well Rim.
ANd, btw, totally ot, but I have earned myself the title of 'best mom in the world' cuz I bought my kid moon sand. hate the stuff, but I bought a small, flatish rubbermaid container as well, and it can only be played with outside in the playgroundish area.
A, the older Belladonnette, is home from preschool with a fever & sore throat. Pretty sure it is strep, because she has a long white patch in her throat along with the red. She feels pretty miserable.
When we first started looking at houses, based on our income, we were told we could afford $450K. That's bullshit; there's no way we could budget that out, no matter how the mortgage broker tried to talk it up, no matter how much the market was dropping. We bought our small, but homey 1600 sq. foot house for 303K, and sometimes THAT is tough, when you account for private mortgage insurancde and the like, which was required. But it still pisses me off that she (broker) tried to talk us up. That was financially irresponsible to the Nth degree.
"I don't fault people who can't afford it for walking away from their mortgages."
I do. It's a huge part of what's wrong in our country today, this lapse in morality and it being accepted that it has lapsed. This "it's all about me" metality. It is wrong to not live up to your obligations and commitments, even if you have to take on a second or third job or take in renters. You gave your word you'd pay it. When you walk away, you hurt others financially, in addition...people who did you no harm and you're causing their families to suffer for your actions. It's just wrong all the way around.
Thanks Robin....I was stupid at the time I will straight up admit it but dammit if it isnt one of those things that you try once and you can be hooked that fast. I think it is better to be open about stuff like that because it makes other people recognize that it can and does happen to everyone.
And the whole balloon payment thing that so many got into.....not to be high and mighty but how do people plan to do that kind of a thing?
"i'm glad you said you were sorry. it really shook my mental understanding of you when i saw you'd said that about someone with whom you used to be friendly."
Rhys, in all honesty, I never liked R2 very much, once I really got to know her. That's definitely not meant to be a mean comment, just a factual one and one I'm sure many people could and do say about me. Not everyone likes everyone else and it's fine. Our personalities conflict, nothing more or less, and in the interest of trying to not get kicked off SIP, I just made an effort to hide it.
Corinne - CA - exciting! Which part - or all of it? We are going out there end of July/Aug. Mark's sister lives in Eureka, about 5 hours North of San Fran. That should be a great trip for you!!
"Helen gets so upset at me when I put them in that way..."They wont get as clean that way". Ummmmm hello I am anal when doing dishes....they go in the stupid dishwasher CLEAN!!!!"
I'm with Helen. Mine go blades up so they get the full force of the water.
Deb - We start by L.A., then we leave Calif for a bit to go to Las Vegas, Grand Canyon, Bryce Canyon, Zion, Monument Valley & Lake Powell, then we go back to Calif. to visit Yosemite Park and then San Francisco.
Ok so Moonsand is the modern equivalent to play doh that doesnt dry out so you can find it really mushed into the carpet? They do realize that the joy of playdoh was that one day it would dry up and you could get it out of the carpet?
Everyone is welcome! The only real rules here are no spamming shit and no posting personal addresses, phone numbers or other similar info. I don't need that kind of stress. That's it, although it could change if someone gets creative or something. If you don't like what is said here, you can: 1) Say so; 2) Hold it in and stew on it; 3. Address it privately to the person who said it; 4) Snark about it to your friends; 5) Leave. Don't bother me with it, I don't care and I won't get involved. I might, however, talk about you behind your back or post your email/message to me on here. *grins*
Them's the rules...all of them.
Have fun!
663 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 1 – 200 of 663 Newer› Newest»Well, shoot. (pun intended) I can't leave this new post without a comment before I head to bed.
Shannon: it's been very nice. :o)
AP: That was very not-12 year old of you. You're awesome.
Tara, awesome people don't publicly call others "butt plugs" and that was just plainly bad on my part. I need to work on my awesomeness, obviously and painfully, but thank you for the vote of confidence. You're not too shabby yourself. :-)
Katie, thanks about Uncle Harold. I'll miss him, he was my second favorite uncle and my favorite uncle is only such because he looks and sounds just like my dad. Uncle Harold was a rebel on Miss Arse's side of the family, giving them their first ever divorce and later living with Aunt Gerry for years before they actually married. Almost 40 years they had together and such love and devotion...so sweet and so sad, now.
Karen, how did Friday go for Angela? And you? And how was her date? Is everyone feeling better?
FT, we need a Shortround update and picture soon. You okay out there?
Curiosity is killing me - our newest follower is Ginger H. and that's not familiar to me. Ginger, say hi, will you? And welcome!
Sorry about Uncle Harold... even at 80 years old and after a good long life, they are still loved and missed so much!
Angela's date went well - she had fun, said that the guy was nice, and the headliner commedianne (sp??) too lazy to look up the correct spelling!! anyway - was a woman called the grandmother from hell, high recommended that we go see her - the second opener was another woman, a lesbian (says Angela) who described themselves as a little bit Ellen and a little bit (some guy angela can't remember who but says it was funny as hell!) So sounded like she had fun. Friday was ok - Ang worked so it was a long day for her, but we talked about Angel and that day 3 years ago and we are going together to pick out an urn for her ashes soon, that is the one thing ang regrets is not having them in an urn, they are in a cardboard box from the funeral home... in her memory box the hospital gave her. The pink eye boys are getting better, Patti is feeling better but still coughing ALOT and almost out of her cough med and her inhaler, so refills tomorrow I think... I am feeling ugh tonight, sorta like having been underwater for too long, hope it isn't the start of anything...
Would love a shortround picture....
I am excited we are going to be having two new Daisy babies... that will be fun!!
I'm also excited some old friends have been checking in here, nice to see you all!!
Almost 3 am - I think its time for bed, takes me forever to read and catch up, after I read I run out of time to chat! and it doesn't help that I follow the links people post and go read them...
Night, talk more tomorrow hopefully!
I commented and its gone, I hope it shows up later... night all!
PS Chris.. your video makes me want to be friends with you and Elisabeth.... I love how "real" you are... and how you want to help people!
As my dad used to say, you are both "good people"!!
Who was it that was asking about the HcG drops/pills? I have been reading about them too and found this...
http://fatlosschronicles.blogspot.com/
AP, I just wanted to say I'm sorry about your uncle=(
Altho of course it is better when people have long, adventurous lives, it still doesn't make it automatically "easy" to lose them.
Kaytie.......thank you so much for your beautiful and kind words. Chris says he would be thrilled for anyone to pass along the video. We got an email from a woman in Dallas today.......she saw Chris' video and while picking up allergy meds today she remembered what we said about using those free blood pressure kiosk chairs.......so she decided to take the 90 seconds and do it. Her top number was over 220! And bottom was almost 140. She hadn't had her blood pressure checked since having her babies 10 and 12 years ago........it just fell by the way side.
Of course nobody can say what would or would not have happened to her, if the blood pressure had not been checked. She got a stat referral to a GP from her gynecologist and will be put on medication to lower and control her BP.
She thanked Chris for possibly saving her life and said if he had not taken the time to share his story, her children might have been orphaned. Chris was SO THRILLED to feel like he is making a difference.
I am home for 2 days, resting and catching up on all the sleep I miss when over at the apartment sleeping (or not sleeping ever ever ever as the case may be) and I just had 2 fab naps in a row.......only woke up to text with Chris and eat! Just thought I'd mention that so all the sweeties who told me to get some rest and take care of me would know I did/am. I'm about to go back to sleep again and I'm excited about it as it involves my cuddly dogs and my own bed. =)
Hope everyone is having a good week.......thank you again for all of the lovely comments on Chris' video. I was surprised and happy at how he truly seemed to find joy in each one.
morning ladies
Ok, I had to call in sick to work. I can hardly walk, my back is killing me. I posted my lesson plans and am going back to bed. Catch up later.
Morning ladies!
Hobbling over here!
AP - so sorry for Uncle Harold {{{HUGS}}} to you and Miss Arse.
Jill - hope the back gets better.
Good morning. It came too early today, I think. I slept like crazy, though, so I shouldn't complain.
AP- Sorry about Uncle Harold. It's not easy even if it is expected. ((hugs))
Kristin- Ouch! Hope you recover before the next softball game. LM sounds like such a doll! Glad he gets so into cheering you on.
Uncle Harold, RIP. I can imagine what the siblings are going through right now. MIL has one sib left of six; when the others started going they saw the writing on the wall.
Elisabeth, awesome that the woman let you and Chris know about the impact on her life. I hope lots of people are impacted.
About the photo - I have been in and around schools my whole life and managed to get 3 including disruptive son all the way through grad school with no srrests. The finger gun was inappropriate and deserved a reprimand, perhaps for policy's sake and depending on the girl's record, a one day in-school suspension. I can't buy "terroristic threat." And I hate that something goes in the permanent record for behavior like that.
And Short-round update, yeah. Did that child get a name yet?
Kristin, No more softball if you're going to keep getting hurt. Try table tennis.
Quick check in - RF, on behalf of FT, I can reassure you that Shortround was named, but will remain Shortround for us Daisies.
Jill - yea for teacher days off - but boo for the reason why. Take it easy and rest up!
CK, I am so relieved. The other kids would have teased him.
Thanks ladies.
Just catching up.
Sorry to hear about Uncle Harold AP and that was big of you to apologize to Robin on here.
I think the big blog blow ups have brought out some ugly sides of some people (myself included). People have typed somethings that they wouldn't ordinarily say to someones face. It's ok to not like someone, but people can get downright nasty when they are behind a keyboard. I'm not referencing anyone in particular, just making a general statement.
CK sometimes it is more trouble than it is worth to take a day off though huh?
Jill, The lesson plans you need to leave take way more work than the ones you have in you. I know lots of teachers who would just not take a day no matter how germ ridden they were because they couldn't tolerate having subs.
And I agree about the apology. And the ugly.
RF yes, I have to plan tons of extra work just to keep the behavior in check. Oh, and I'm in a computer lab so there is that to contend with too.
Morning Ladies!
AP, I'm very sorry about Uncle Harold ((Hugs)).
I forgot to turn the heat back on and it was 60 in here this morning. Brrr.
I had a revelation yesterday that R2 was another Robin from OHIH. There were several, right?
Muliebrity there were 3 Robins on OHIH: Robin (Alabama Slacker Mom), Robin2, and RiM. I haven't seen Robin around since OHIH imploded. I know she updates her blog often though.
Sorry to hear about your uncle AP. I know your mom's heart must be hurting.
AP - I am so sorry to hear of your Uncle Harold's passing.
...and good morning
I thought there were a whole mess of Robins there. It was bugging me that I didn't remember R2. Mystery solved (for me anyway).
Morning all!
AP - hugs to Miss Arse and you. I'm so sorry. It's hard no matter how old someone you love is.
Morning all who popped on since I last said morning.
How to tell your SO isn't listening to you...
SO: How were the games?
Me: Great, except for being hit a line drive.
SO: That is awesome!
ummm....it sure wasn't awesome when that dang ball hit me but ummm....okay.
Me: Going to bed and putting ice on my leg.
SO goes into the bathroom to shower.
and that should say "being hit by a line drive"
I haven't had my first cup o' coffee yet.
Pass a cup my way when you get some, Kristin?
Aaah. Kristin, that happens all the time at my house. And then later, he'll ask me a question about what we just talked about. Drives me insane!!!!! Later today he'll ask you how you got hurt :p
Kristin, he may have heard you - some men seem to think the best bruise is one of the goals of the game. At least I have a son-in-law like that. Sorry. I try to make excuses for man brain.
Matt does that on a daily basis. He'll come ask me something like "Did you ever find out from your Mom....?" and I will say, "Yes, I told you right when I got done talking to her" "No you didn't." "Yes I did" "No you didn't" "Yes, I did! You were... (playing on the computer, playing with Ryla, eating, staring straight at me and not listening..)" Then I usually get an "Oh. Okay."
Off to play group and then I am pretty sure it is straight to nap time.
I know, I try to remember he is male (no offense Chris) but I wanted a *tad bit of sympathy - or cool, let me see - or how did it happen?
Oh well.
and LM finds it humorous that I am in pain and started imitating me, since I tend to yelp and then laugh hysterically when I am down on my knees with him.
Okay - enough of me bitching.
Have fun at the playdate Taiya!
Hi All! Lost night tonight – yay! American Idol tonight too!
Catching up on comments from last night and this morning:
CK, a popular song about a big head – You’re so vain? Not contemporary, but popular with me.
Hi to Tara! It’s good to see you!
Where the hell is FT? Has anyone heard from her lately?
Jill, sorry about your back. How did you hurt it?
Sorry about your softball injury, Kristin. It sounds like you had fun though! You and LM are so cute.
Hi Lindsay! I'm glad to see you again.
SW - Thanks for posting that roasted asparagus recipe - I'm going to try that one this week. I thought of you while traveling with my sister a couple of weekends ago - we had many Seinfeld moments!
So did anybody see the Today Show segment this morning about walking away from your mortgage voluntarily? (i.e., people who could afford to keep paying their mortgage, but didn't want to because the value of the house was so much less than the amount of the mortgage.) It was interesting, because a couple of people were making the case that it isn't immoral or unethical, just a good business decision. In fact, I was a little disappointed that the Today Show didn't really give much airtime to the counterargument as to why it is immoral and/or unethical.
Does anyone have a good site for free powerpoint templates?
You're so vain - love that song!
Hi Deb, where did you and your sister go? (sorry if you've already said and I forgot)
Margret: http://www.brainybetty.com/
http://www.indezine.com/powerpoint/templates/freetemplates.html
SW - We went to Nashville for the weekend. Mark had a conference there, so we made it a party weekend, i.e., hotel on the company:) at the Opryland Hotel.
SW I have scoliosis and I'm just out of whack. My left hip is a little off and is pinching my sciatic nerve.
Be back in a bit, going to register little one for pre-k
Hi everyone!
Jill - I'm sorry about your back. I hope you get to feeling better soon!
AP - That is sad about your uncle, even at 80:(
SW- FT is doing well, just busy :)
Kristin - sorry about your leg.
Hi Deb in MD - I don't think I've met you before. I'm Margaret in VA :)
On walking away from a mortgage - sure it makes perfect sense to the people who bought too much house and now want to walk away - drives me insane! Accountability is dead in this country. There was a woman on the news the other night crying the blues because her townhouse - her $450,000 townhouse - was "taken" from her. She said she didn't realize what the mortgage would be until 2 days before closing but she had fallen in love with the house and went through with it anyway. She took 0 accountability for any part of it - blamed her realtor and her lender.
Thanks Jill! I feel for your back problems. I had a large herniation 2 years ago, had surgery and it's reherniated. Sometimes the sciatic pain is so bad I can't walk. I hope you're feeling better soon!
Some of the people that are walking away make more in a year than we do here in 3. My mortgage is my top priority. Thankfully we're not upside down in ours but it's still a struggle to pay.
I think alot of people get the fright or flight and just opt to walk away because it's too hard to for them to tighten the belt. But here I am comparing the cost of a can of green bean, generic mind you, to keep a roof over my head.
Well, SAndy, that's your *own fault if you want to be all grown up and responsible and stuff. :-D Seriously, that's the attitude (IMO) everyone ought to take - it's not just the bank who suffers a hit when someone is foreclosed on, it hits the rest of us in other ways as well. The story about the woman who had "just falled in love with the house" annoys me to no end. There ought to be some kind of repercussion. I do get, though, that there are some folks in some instances who just absolutely cannot avoid it.
Read your apology to R2 yesterday, AP. That was very ... adult of you. :) I wonder if the irony of an apology was lost on her, though? lol.
Some of these walk away people have no idea what the snowball effect is for the rest of us. We can't refinance because there were two foreclosures around the corner. We could poop golden eggs and the lenders wouldn't care just because of those two houses.
During the course of this whole economic meltdown, our house went from $285k to $199K. Sure I could walk away from it and chalk it up. But, I am too emotionally and financially attached to my house. With all the money we have paid into it, etc., I could never do it.
I don't fault people who can't afford it for walking away from their mortgages. This story included a couple who said they *could afford it, just thought it was a bad investment. And the wife said, "Now we've got a much bigger house for a lower payment!" That's what bothers me, like JM's dream house, bought at her old neighbors' expense.
rim
that's not fair. what ap said when i went back and read was mean.
r2 sent her an email. ap apologized.
at some point you have to trust that people are basically good and that we all have our differences. meanness is never ok in my book. name calling either.
ap,
i'm glad you said you were sorry. it really shook my mental understanding of you when i saw you'd said that about someone with whom you used to be friendly.
Deb, the Opryland Hotel is a fun place to stay! You were less than two hours away from me.
I am positively disgusted by people who decide to purposely walk away from their mortgage, even if their house's value dropped.
The drop in value was foreseeable as we were in an economic bubble. That doesn't make it a valid argument to stop making your mortgage payment.
The problem stems from many people wanting to buy houses they couldn't afford in the first place, and the banking system allowing them to do it. There are responsibilities on both sides.
Look where we are now. IF we're lucky, we'll have a W-shaped recession, of which I'm sure we haven't seen the worst yet. IF luck is not on our side, then it'll be an L-shaped recession, much like what happened in Japan.
Many economists think there is another crisis right around the corner - one on credit-cards debt.
Consumerism is one of the great diseases of this century, in my opinion.
RiM, I totally agree that there are instances where people just can't make the payments like loss of job, medical emergencies.
In order to make some extra cash, my husband and I sold a 1973 Corvette Stingray that was in mint condition. That has been the only time I have ever saw my husband cry.
people who walk from the their homes b/c they don't want to pay on it anymore make me mad too. especially people who just find another bigger, cheaper home that someone else just left b/c it dropped in value.
it's wrong. plain wrong
Rhys, you lost me. What wasn't fair? I didn't say AP's apology was unwarranted. I simply wondered, and I have the right to do that, you know, whether the irony of an immediate and sincere apology issued so that all who saw the meanness could also see the apology, was lost on her. That's all. So unless you meant something else?
Not wading into the butt plug fray, except to say what did butt plugs ever do to anybody to get such a bad rap? Hmph.
Corrine, I couldn't agree with you more! I don't think that we've seen the last of the problems.
We are currently debt free except for our mortgage. We are in the process of building up our emergency fund (jeez, do I sound like Dave Ramsey) of which we had none.
The lenders should be ashamed of themselves and we need to stop being so materialistic.
rim
to me it sounded like r2 could not possibly appreciate an apology because of what she has done to you or anyone else in the past.
if anyone can ever stop with the back and forth, and the implied/inferred insults, someone has to stop first and apologize. then the person involved would accept it and apologize too.
i just found it to be in poor taste to mock her again. she's nice, just like ap. and sometimes our inner ugly side gets the best of us.
Please don't ever use "butt plug" and "fray" in the same sentence, SW!
Well, my experience with her being 'nice' and has been an entirely different one than yours, I guess. It's all good.
I wasn't intimating she couldn't appreciate an apology. Who doesn't appreciate one? But she was the sole person over there who at least vocally supported Wendy in not apologizing for her behavior. Ironic, no?
rim
o. yes. we do have differing experiences.
i didn't even read what you said like you just explained.
which means i need to go smack my head for taking it the wrong way
sorry.
Rhys. :)
i'm sorry, rim,
i can't take time to view the smile.
i'm busy smacking my head.
(=
i just might become a ray of sunshine at this rate.
woo.
I hear you on the ray of sunshine. I think I've cussed more this morning before 8:30 than most people cuss in a year. Slammed my finger in the medicine cabinet. Burned my hand on the stove. Cut my hand on a knife going into the dishwasher (that drew the most impressive string of words - sailors have *nothing on me).
Knives in the dishwasher are scary. Blades down, people!
i woke up at 3 b/c it was warmer in our room than it's been all winter
then i had a horrible dream
couldn't find lia's meds. the PT called to schedule suff. we've got to consider CP, we've got to consider seizures, etc. which means *i* need to pay attention even more and make lists.
then there's the mess that's me. i need to figure out what i need hormone-wise to put me closer to my even keel self i used to be.
sw
also carry them pointing down and away from yourself
zaya has already been trained. carefully trained, though, with me watching the WHOLE time.
Morning ladies...sorry I dipped out so suddenly last night...I had to go pick up my dumbass son....long story I would rather not get too deep into let's just say the fact he is still alive is a tribute to what a good mother I am LOL.
Now as for the mortgage discussion going on...I will tell you that probably 90% of the time I cant understand why people walk away.
I recently went to work with the boys to a foreclosure that had to be cleaned out. When we were checking the house out we noticed right off that the foundation in the back corner of the house was literally falling off. Yeah they walked away when they found out that the bank, who had known that this was a problem but reassured them that they could refinance after being in the house for a year to get it fixed. They discovered when it was time that the bank would no longer do that because the house was now worth $100,000 less then what they bought it for. They bought it for right around $200,000 and with the combination of the bubble bursting and the foundation issues they only valued the house at $89,000.
Freakish considering this was an older home but it had a good sized lot, it was two stories and had a basement as well. They basically told the bank to FO and gave them back the house and were in litigation over the difference in value considering the bank KNEW about the foundation issues.
This however is the exception not the norm with people walking away from their mortgages.
Could you convince the other women I live with that knives need to go blade down in the dishwasher???!!!!!
Helen gets so upset at me when I put them in that way..."They wont get as clean that way". Ummmmm hello I am anal when doing dishes....they go in the stupid dishwasher CLEAN!!!!
I personally do not enjoy being stabbed in the hand when emptying the stupid thing. And it isnt like she is the one doing the dishes!!!
Ouch Robin!
Grab you a Bloody Mary and just hang out with us - do not move - do not pick up sharp objects - do not turn on the stove.
Hope your day gets better.
shannon
i will be right over. promise.
and that's crazy about the bank and the foundation. crazy.
Shanon, the best point made on the Today Show segment in favor of walking away was that the bank shouldn't have loaned the money in the first place. The bank is in the better position to know the value of the home versus the amount of the loan than the homeowner is, really. Why should the homeowner take the entire burden of the bank's mistake. The counterargument, of course, is that you should know if you're buying more house than you can afford. And you should have known about the housing bubble. But not everybody stays on top of things like that. I don't, really. I'm terrible with financial matters.
Morning Daisies!
FT - Miss you and hope all is well. Thank you Corinne for update! I was worried FT got knocked out by the UltraThin Statue she was creating for us :-D
Jill - Sorry your back is giving you fits. What helps for the pain of that?
Kristin - Back in the days of my DH reading newspapers and barraging me with the same damn questions that I.had.just.answered, I cured it by cutting a hole in his favorite newspaper section. When he lifted it up to read, there I was on the other side of the paper, smiling and waving at him. He laughed and got the hint.
Sorry though that your SO blew you off on being hurt. That is not cool.
SW I can see both sides of that argument. At the same time however I have to stand on my high horse and say that even though I could have probably gotten a home loan I didnt....why? Because it would be completely stupid, I am in no position to be buying a home.
Also though I think that a lot of banks were kind of sneaky in how they did things and yes they really do know better the value of a house and in all honesty should not be jacking up prices by 100K on homes that they know arent even worth that.
It is kind of setting people up for failure so that they can recuperate tens of thousands more then they would have originally.
And Rhys thank you these women need some knife lessons LOL
AP--thank you for the public apology.
RIM--can you give it a rest already? My issues with anything you posted at SiP had nothing to do with being all up in Wendy's butt or being her BFF. It had to do with my feelings that you had used Rhys to make Wendy look bad. You'd had the email for months, so if your concern were for Rhys and what you saw as Wendy's double-standard, why didn't you send it to Rhys months ago, instead of dragging it out last week? It looked to me like you used rhys's feelings toake someone else look bad. And I said just that. It is my opinion. Of I am wrong about that, then you are more than welcome to explain how I am wrong about that. But to come over here and say what you did about me in a forum I normally don't read and never post on as if your opinion on the matter was gospel truth--I don't get that. We can have different opinions without one of us being up someone else's ass.
Regarding the very serious business of loading dishwashers, yes, knives need to go down. The rest of the silverware? I like it up, so that it can get clean and doesn't get stuck together. My ex-MIL would come behind me and turn everything upside down, I'd come behind her, flip it back up, etc., lol. Her reasoning for having it down is so that when you unload it your hands are touching the handle, not the eating surface. My reasoning was I'm not cleaning out the horse barn and then unloading the dishwasher without washing my hands or something. My hands are clean.
Sandy - That is great that you are building up your emergency fund!
SW - "the best point made on the Today Show segment in favor of walking away was that the bank shouldn't have loaned the money in the first place. The bank is in the better position to know the value of the home versus the amount of the loan than the homeowner is, really."
You know, while I agree that banks were highly irresponsible in their handling of financial matters (I am not only talking about loans, but also toxic assets, hedgefunds, etc.), I will never accept the aforementioned argument as a valid justification to default on your mortgage payment.
People always want more and more, and never think about the consequences.
My father works in a bank, and though the housing market did not crash as hard here as it did in the US, he did tell us that he was appalled by the loans that were granted to some people.
Getting a loan means having a responsibility towards the bank and the economy as a whole.
You can't just change your mind and default on your payment because things are not going your way.
Seriously, what did people expect? For the house values to keep on skyrocketting forever? That is ludicrous.
I think I just had a Charlie Brown's teacher flashback ... wah-wah-wah-wah. ;-)
I know there are legitimate situations like the one you described Shannon and also situations where people did do their best but because they lost their job or whatever they couldn't make their payments. I have no pity for the people who bought what they knew they couldn't afford - and I believe a good percentage of people did know. When you close on a house you know what your payment is going to be. People need to take responsiblity for themselves.
That was such a *mature response to a legitimate question.
Absolutely Margaret...people do need to ultimately take responsibility for themselves. I mean seriously I think that buying a house is a serious responsibility...that is why I still havent tried to buy one LOL I need my ducks all in a row before that happens.
Shannon - the people you just mentioned with the foundation issue, I am assuming there was nothing in writing from the bank guaranteeing them the refinance? That seems like something a loan officer, trying to get a loan shoved through, would say just to make it happen for their own benefit, you know? But impossible to try and come back on the bank on since it's just a he said/she said thing.
Margaret - Exactly. Losing a job, an unexpected disease that leads to astronomical medical bills, etc. are atrocious situations and I could understand someone defaulting on their payment for that reason.
The bifg difference is that job loss, serious sickness, etc. have always been reasons why people would fail to make their mortgage payment. What was typical of this crisis is that people purposely decided to walk away from their mortgage because the value of their house dropped OR because they just came to the realization that they never could afford the mortgage in the first place. Purely irresponsible.
RiM I dont know the details in fact it was all what I heard from the neighbor and his wife LOL But I can tell ya I think I would be getting a lawyer in a case like that as well. I think it probably was one of those mouth service situations with nothing on paper and that really sucks.....Something to remember if they are going to take the time to say it make them write it down as well.
Shannon, that's how it should be. Buying a home is a serious life commitment IMO. If I bought every house we looked at that I fell in love with, I'd be living in a box under a bridge somewhere. IMO, I feel that Americans are impulse purchasers besides having to keep up with the Jones'.
My neighbor is a great example. New car every couple of years. He takes loans off of his 401(k). He's still paying on 2 different cars at this point and wonders why he can't get ahead!
Unforeseeable emergencies or circumstances I can understand. To walk away as in the case of the couple on the Today Show is bull.shit.
We had neighbors move in with 4 kids. All 4 kids were enrolled into a Christian private school. Come time for Christmas, they e-mailed all their neighbors that they did not have enough money for Christmas presents and food. "But please don't send meat as we are vegetarians". We all helped out as we could. A year later they walked away from the house.
Total scammers. And that is my opinion of the Today Show couple. Scammers.
Shannon - I know in the past I've done just believed what I was told. When we built our last house, we went through a mortgage broker, who got our construction financing through one bank (1st Interstate) and said he had 'talked to Joann' at our local credit union and she said it was a 'for sure' thing. So into it we merrily went, knowing that the loan at 1st Interstate, being a construction loan, was several points higher than a conventional loan and that it had to be paid off in one year, thinking, since we had been told, that our conventional financing was in place. Not so much. He had in fact talked to Joann, had explained our situation to her, she knew who we both were, etc., but he did not tell her how much the loan was for, and it was above the amount that she personally could approve at the local level. Both being self-employed, we didn't meet the criteria to qualify there, it was heading into the time when financing was getting tougher and tougher to acquire and we couldn't get financed *anywhere. We ended up getting (and paying through the nose) two extensions at 1st Interstate, and finally getting our end financing at the credit union, anyway, but it took months of me yelling and crying and slinging snot and threatening and calling everyone and their dog. So. Lesson learned. If someone tells me something ... I'm going to want it in writing from here on.
It is a lesson that really sucks especially when you have to be bitten to know you even needed to learn it.
Ok well I have to think about getting my ass in gear to go see the doctor about my fatness. Hopefully I will get some constructive stuff and not just judgmental stuff.
"in the past I've done just believed'? Seriously?
In the past I have just believed ...
Good grief.
When we sold our house to move here, the couple that bought our old house had not only a first mortgage but a second mortgage to make of the difference that they didn't qualify for. Here they were just starting out and are now in debt up to their ears. This was 6 years ago this month.
I just thought your inner hick was coming out RiM.
::spit polishes my cowboy boots:::
Sandy, that second was really common for a time - all three of my kids bought with one, but fortunately none of them got messed up. They were all buying when they knew their circumstances were improving, and luckily they were right. And none of them bought McMansions.
RiM, I thought you wrote it that way for emphasis.
<---*trying to recover from play group.
I feel like my computer warning
8% available (plugged in, not charging)
Taiya - Nap Time! Or so I hope for you.
RF, I agree the second mortgage thing was really common. That would just scare the hell out of me.
KaytieJ- I need to recover some first. Play group was rough. DD was hardcore naughty. Turns out her yeast infection is back and worse. Stupid molars.
I did just go buy a sub at a local store, some Doritos (I know: so healthy, right?) and some cherry cheesecake. I felt like I earned it. Plus cherries are fruit, so it's healthy, right?
We have (well, I had -now he has) a second mortgage on that house. Even with the housing bubble and having two mortgages, though, he still owes less than it's worth. He couldn't sell it even for what he owes just because nothing is moving here, but he's sitting okay in that he doesn't want to leave it ever, anyway.
Oh, and the point of that was that it is aiding in the recovery. :)
Definitely healthy, Taiya. ::nods::
:::nodding:::
Cherry Cheesecake is Fruit and Dairy.
sorry to hear your little one is sick again :-(
Taiya -- Cheesecake is fruit *and dairy. Both daily requirements. :nod: And Doritos are in the yellow food group, also very important. The sub was bad. ::frowns disapprovingly::
::shakes fist at Kaytie for beating me:::
Hardcore naughty. I'm kind of liking that.
forgot to add
Not sure about Doritos. Cheetos, though? Heaven.
:::twirling:::
I finally did a firsty!!!
My housing opinion is this, since I am coming late to it.
People need to take some responsibility. I am not saying everyone was unavoidable, or that there aren't circumstances. However people need to stand up and be accountable for their own actions. Our lending company wanted to give us a quarter mill to buy a house when we could very obviously *just afford the $75,000 we were shopping around with. It's crap that they set people up for failure, but people need to do their own math and be responsible for their own actions instead of just thinking "I want that" and jumping in.
That's all.
Speaking of cheesecake, I keep eyeballing this, wondering if I could pull it off. Maybe for Kelly's birthday tomorrow?
http://smittenkitchen.com/2010/04/new-york-cheesecake/
The sub has lettuce? ha. And she isn't actually sick, KaytieJ, just has a yeast infection so she is acting out more. She really is in a great mood at home. just didn't want to listen to me at play group.
Hardcore naughty= body slamming kids, stealing toys, hitting kids, throwing things, etc...
<<<--- wracking brain trying to come up with an occasion to make that cheesecake for.
Taiya - I think blogger ate my comment.
Tomorrow is Administrative Professionals Day, and Thursday is Earth Day. Do either of those qualify as occasions for making cheesecake?
How about today is Tuesday? Does that count?
I have to make an Abby Cadabby cake for Saturday that I am not looking forward to. Why did I agree to do this? I could just make a cheesecake. i am sure that is suitable for a little girls first bday party.
Go for it Robin! And Happy Early BD to Kelly!
And after that Hardcore Naughty at Play Group? Taiya, that is your occassion :-D
taiya
make little mini cheesecakes
no idea who abby cadabby is, but i'm sure you could work that in (:
then again, make the cheesecake for the adults. they'll appreciate it more (:
Wednesday qualifies as a cheesecake occasion. Or Monday, or the others that end in y. Don't forget, it is also a good source of protein.
Body slams, oooh. That is hard-core.
Rhys - I had to look up Abby Cadabby, too. Sesame Street, apparently.
And thanks, Kaytie! We will have his girls every night this week except Weds., and all weekend, overnights, so ... Weds will be the birthday dinner. This weekend is a thing called Rendezvous -- a big parade, booths and games and food and all that junk in the park, sand drags, a rodeo, black powder shooting events (whee) etc., so we'll do that whole thing on Saturday, come home and have a fire with hot dogs and marshamallows and all that junk. Should be fun. ::she says hopefully but with doubt in her voice:::
OK...:::said in my best Mulie voice:::
Who do I have to f*** to set up a Pay Pal account?
I hear y'all talking about it and I have no idea how or where to set one up!
Abby Cadabby is apparently a Sesame Street character. I did not know until i agreed to make this cake for my friend. She is pink and purple. I don't watch Sesame Street. I know Elmo and Big Bird, though.
I say go for it, Robin! Then take pictures. :) And tell us how good it is. Then i will just *have to make it.
Kaytie - just go to Paypal.com and there's an option to sign up. You can link it to a credit card, to your bank account, whatever. Linking to your bank account only takes a few days to verify, IIRC.
RiM, That does sound like fun.
I know and love Abby Cadabby. She is strong, for a pink and purple muppet.
Paypal.com :D (Yes, that was deliberate)
RF - It is pretty fun, usually. I have the yearly fight with Katie that she can't ride her horse in the parade, because he's never been in a parade, and that a few thousand people all waving crap around and throwing candy and sirens going and horns blowing, on asphalt with a horse fresh off winter, does not a good combination make. Every year this decision is met with much disdain.
Perking up to 10%
Rendezvous? I love those events! I am so jealous. And good planning on Wednesday being BD party <-----worship time? :::whistling:::
I have had Sesame Street on for DD a few times but never saw Abby.
Kaytie -- Worship is something that must be engaged in daily if it's to mean *anything. Hmmph. lol.
Oh boy...not fun arguing about it, but you are making the right decision. That would be a disaster, Robin.
LOL! PayPal.com
Told y'all I am at 8% this morning!
Thank you!
Off to set up an account...BBL
I grew up riding in parades, but my dad always rode with us (I'm not riding in a parade these days, no how, no way) and our horses by that time (4th of July ) had had their legs ridden off doing the spring ranch work. My horses don't get ridden or used nearly as much, and definitely not by this time of year. I'd consider letting her do it if she'd let me lead her, although I'd not feel real comfortable with that, but there is NO way she's having any of that, either. So. I usually use the "but you wouldn't get any candy" argument and that works, albeit grudgingly.
I can understand that, RiM. That's one thing I never did with Trig because I was wary of what could happen. He was great, but he was Arab. While it suited me to a 't' to have him be a little more high strung, crowds were not something I wanted to subject us to. Just in case.
I will exercise your horses. :) Well, maybe after Eeq is born.
Head on out here, Taiya. We'll go boot shopping. I do hope to ride more this year, that's for sure. Last year was mostly a bust. I moved cows for a friend in the spring, then all hell broke loose with my marriage, and I rode maybe twice in the summer, and once on a benefit ride in the fall, and that's it. I was invited last Sunday, but Jerry's feet have not even been looked at since I pulled shoes in October or November, and he needs that done first. And a wormer. And a stern talking to about his behavior.
That's sad. I wish I had horses, but I am afraid that at this point in my life I would get in 2 rides a year, which would be sad.
The liberal in me (which is about 95 percent of me :-)) says okay, if we're holding individuals to personal responsibility, why aren't we holding corporations to the same standard? It was banks and bankers who created the housing bubble and caused the recession. Have you read about what Goldman Sachs did that is the basis of fraud charges now?
This American Life had a good piece on the financial securities scheme that helped lead to the recession. This made it easier for me to understand: http://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/405/inside-job
RiM, what you just wrote really surprised me - I thought your marriage was much more a thing of the past. I guess I had that idea because you and Kelly seem so much "married." Though I guess with that much worshipping going on . . .
RF - We were separated, sort of, for longer than that, and the marriage had been in trouble for a *very long time. The final sinking happened in March or so, but it was really just the formality. Still stressful. I knew Kelly for years before that (no funny business) and it just kind of clicked, I guess. Old souls or something. I don't know. That's why when people express surprise at how fast Travis remarried it's hard to really say much -- we were both done a long, long time ago, just hadn't officially finished it, you know?
Ummmm I would just like to announce that TODAY is considered a holiday by some and that a cheesecake is perfect in celebration :)
And I get to go back to the doctors office again tomorrow....She wants me to fast tonight and come back in to get a full panel work up with my BLOOD!!! Have I ever mentioned I have a thing with needles and dont like them sucking my blood out?
But she did say that my thyroid does feel a little enlarged so yeah she was very glad that I came in today since it has been well over 10 years since I had a blood panel done.
Shannon - 420 Cheesecake?
HELL YEAH Robin!!!!
RiM, That makes sense, then. Sounds like Kelly and you were in the right place at the right time to make the move from friendship to love.
lol!
I will make a shocking confession...this is the one time of year I partake in the herbage.....and it kind of sucks because I am supposed to not eat after nine....but then again I could always go in after nine..it isnt set in stone I just have to do a 12 hour fast :)
RF- we were. :-) When I think about all the times we sat and just gabbed about everyday crap waiting for kids at dance and whatever, it feels surreal that we are *together now.
I've never partaken of the herbiage, (goody two-shoes, ha) but I knew about 420 from work.
LOL I will tell you that in my opinion you arent missing much.....it is really not my cup of tea but I figure once a year I will make an exception. What is really horrible is that when I was into such things it was the meth that was my cup of tea....let us just say that I know avoid that and anything like it like the plague. Even though it has been 13 years since I last did that stuff I still consider myself an addict because I still miss it and like it...not even close to being worth it.
SW, oh definitely the corporations should be held accountable. It's a complete snowball effect.
And Robin I am sure you know part of why Eugene is called the "Emerald City" LOL
Shannon - I don't think I know that. Tell me. And good for you on the meth thing. The stuff I have sat and typed from experts on addiction regarding that stuff scares the ever-loving crap out of me. I have seen firsthand watching a loved one get sucked into that world what it can do to you in every aspect of your well-being from physical to emotional to financial. So very scary.
RiM- My husbands birthday is today. I went to the store and bought a cheesecake sampler. I'm lazy like that! ;)
I was going to say happy 420 too!
My puppies are 3 today!!!
Happy birthday to Mr. EL!!!
Well Robin not only is Eugene very green with trees and parks...it is also a place where there is a lot of herbage grown and such....and now with the hippie movement in this area we are green for going green....and then never mind the Ducks with their Green and Yellow :)
Shannon - I am so glad you went in to get your thyroid checked! Sucks getting stuck for the blood draw. I do NOT do needles! Sounds weird, but it totally creeps me out, too.
:::tossing pink duct tape::: If you get in a trauma and hauled into ER - they more than likely will do a Trauma Lab panel, that includes drug check. Lots of needles.
Good for you for steering clear of meth!
Shannon - I knew that about the river and the greenery and all, but not about the lots of herbage. 'course I-5 in and of itself is a drug superstore, so that shouldn't surprise me!
Happy birthday to Mr. EL, and unless I get some motivation between now and then, a storebought cheesecake will probably be what happens!
We should hold the banks responsible and I'm cheering at what's happening to GS. I worked for an investment association in the last 90s -our board was make up of the big guys/girls from Wall and they were the most vile of creatures I hope to ever encounter in my life. To say they would run over their own mothers to make more $ is an understatement. I would listen to their husbands/wives on outings at board meetings and wonder how anyone could think that was life. Truly - the bonfire of the vanities.
Kay going in to get things checked is making me feel better about things. I mean I am one who doesnt go to the doctor unless there is something really wrong or it is time for that annual girl exam. I feel better about going in though since my doctor does think there could be stuff going on...I hate the idea of being a hypochondriac to no end.
And the getting away from the meth thing was freaking hard....probably 75% of the people I considered my friends were all doing it and I had to go for a few years without any friends because I refused to get sucked back in. I tell my kids that anything you put in a needle or up your nose is the shit you dump on the floor because it will suck you in.
Robin - ((())) about seeing your loved one go through meth.
On the purely physical that I have seen, the teeth rot out, their hearts are shot and they are OLD. Frankly pisses.me.off that they are clogging up the ERs and ICUs in many areas.
And on the other side, I am so happy when I hear that a drug addict has gotten off of it! Proud of you Shannon!
Happy Birthday to Mr. EL! Are you going to do anything Erin? It is so gorgeous out right now!
He has a late meeting tonight, so probably just some worship ;) Got him some new wine glasses and a wine aerator, so maybe not even that!
AND, as a bonus, he will bring dinner home from the clubhouse after the meeting. And there is always the cheesecake. So, a pretty good day for me. Um, I mean *him.
Margaret - When my husband was going back to Wall Street frequently to deal with Financiers (sp), he said they were the vilest, meanest people he had ever met and he hated going there. He was miserable with that job and is so much happier now. Glad you got out of there, too!
Kaytie - it was Travis's mom, and she always proves what I say about a meth addict fits no stereotype. She was the middle white class, suburban housewife, four healthy kids, nice car, nice house, new furniture, perfect decorations, entertained all the time, nice clothes, the "right" friends, active in church, etc., etc., etc. Terrible marriage, and he ended up forcing her to go into an alcohol rehab - and she saw what she thought was an out and took it, in the form of a guy who was in there on a court mandated rehab. Tried it 'just once' with him, and the rest is history. Ended up with a friggin' meth lab IN HER HOUSE. She avoided going to prison by spilling everything she knew and naming names. She was probably in that life maybe five or seven years, and she's out now, clean, back in her church, trying to figure out who the hell she even is. In some ways she's back to the woman I knew and loved, but it changed her, on the inside, even more than it changed her physically. It broke her. Watching that happen, and how her family chose to handle it is probably, in all reality and looking back, what kind of started the demise of my marriage to her son. They were embarrassed of her and chose to look the other way and pretend like it wasn't happening and ignore her (admittedly infrequent) pleas for help. And maybe they were right, because she wasn't really ready for help then, but how they could do that, I still don't understand.
Anyway. Geesh. That was kind of long and emotional.
Ack.
EL - that birthday sounds good! lol.
The company we had over on Saturday - sitting around the fire and they said something about probably needing to get going, someone said something about oh, you just want to go home and have sex, and she, without missing a beat, goes, "Nah, he's already had one beer." lol.
Robin - Thank goodness she got off it! It is such a horrible feeling to see it happening and all you do does not help. Sounds like you are still friends with her. That is good. She needs friends.
EL - well at least you get cheese cake, right?!
Hi back to you Margaret! What part of VA are you in?
Happy Birthday Mr. EL!
Erin - did you see Balto. Co. is selling rain barrels on Sat for $45 in White Marsh? I'm getting up early to go!
Weighing in late on the mortgage thing too. I worked in mortgage for over 10 years for a variety of companies: large banks, local banks, investors, etc and can tell you one of the problems with brokers is that they made money based on the loan amount. They also got people into adjustable rate mortgages because they figured that they could refinance them in a few years and make more money doing it. They banks knew that many of their loans were Federally backed, so as long as they met the Feds guidelines, they were gold. There was a lot of money changing hands and there was very little concern for the borrower. I am on my 4th house and 5th loan and can tell you that I rarely saw paper work in a adequate amount of time.
Happy birthday to Mr Erin! :)
SW- I, too, agree that corporations should be held accountable for this crisis. They were highly irresponsible and *knew exactly where this was going to end up. They knew it from the very start.
Goldman Sachs, well, were the puppet master in all this. They also were kind of protected against any consequences the bubble burst might have because most gvt officials dealing with finances are/were from Goldman Sachs.
My macro-economics professor said something very interesting, he said the American gov should have let more banks fail - you know, besides Lehman Brothers - no matter what the consequences could have been. The reason he said that? Because we are now exactly where we were before the crisis. The mindset is the same; we are creating new bubbles and toxic assets remain in the possession of major banking institutions. The system is bound to fail if it stays that way.
Personally, I have the utmost respect for Jamie Dimon (CEO & chairman of JPMorgan Chase). He managed to keep JPMorgan Chase afloat when every other bank was failing. Not to forget that he saved the American gvt's ass by accepting its request to buy BearStearns at the very beginning of the crisis, in March 2008.
"Last Man standing : the ascent of Jamie Dimon and JPMorgan Chase" by Duff McDonald is definitely worth reading.
Can you tell I'm passionate about this? ;-D
testing.
Meh. Never mind. It ate my post and I am going to nap.
Blah blah, meth is bad. Blah blah blah. Shannon, so proud of you for getting off of it! Blah blah blah something else.
That is a quick summary of what I wrote. Very quick with way fewer words. Blah Blogger.
Taiya - You crack me up :-D
Deb - Your avatar makes me want to go on vacation very badly!
Deb - I'm in Alexandria near Mount Vernon :)
SW - Absolutely businesses need to be held accountable and the government for their lending practices and decisions.
Ultimately, though, no one is pointing a gun or uncocked finger at anyone's head to buy a house, and so it is the buyer's responsibility.
Look at all the people that did the balloon payment method because the initial percentage was so low. It was GAMBLING and they lost because the value of their homes went down, the stock market crashed and they could not make the balloon payment. However, during the hey dey and low percentage time, they were buying new cars, boats, private school education, etc.
I SAW this.
We had that option presented to us and saw the BS that it was and took out a fixed with a higher interest rate. That was in the San Francisco area and stock market hey dey. Many people we knew down there thought we were nuts because they chose the other less interest balloon method loan. Most of them have lost their homes because of THEIR decision. I do not feel any pity for them in that instance. They gambled and they LOST.
I HATE it though, what it did to their families.
Margaret- I am in md too. Deb and I live maybe 20 minutes from each other and have never met.
Deb- I did see that! We have lacrosse practice, and a bday, but I am going to try to get there early. I would really like to get 2.
Shannon- I am proud of you too. Steve's sister and nieces were/all addicts. His sis died last year of hep B. You would have thought that would make a diffence to them, but they continue to be in and out of recovery. It is hard to watch. Sorry you had to go through that as well Rim.
Corinne - me too. That was in Anguilla last year. We are not going this year, so I'm kind of bummed. You can go for me:)
ANd, btw, totally ot, but I have earned myself the title of 'best mom in the world' cuz I bought my kid moon sand. hate the stuff, but I bought a small, flatish rubbermaid container as well, and it can only be played with outside in the playgroundish area.
Morning, all.
AP: I'm sorry about your uncle (hug).
A, the older Belladonnette, is home from preschool with a fever & sore throat. Pretty sure it is strep, because she has a long white patch in her throat along with the red. She feels pretty miserable.
When we first started looking at houses, based on our income, we were told we could afford $450K. That's bullshit; there's no way we could budget that out, no matter how the mortgage broker tried to talk it up, no matter how much the market was dropping. We bought our small, but homey 1600 sq. foot house for 303K, and sometimes THAT is tough, when you account for private mortgage insurancde and the like, which was required. But it still pisses me off that she (broker) tried to talk us up. That was financially irresponsible to the Nth degree.
"I don't fault people who can't afford it for walking away from their mortgages."
I do. It's a huge part of what's wrong in our country today, this lapse in morality and it being accepted that it has lapsed. This "it's all about me" metality. It is wrong to not live up to your obligations and commitments, even if you have to take on a second or third job or take in renters. You gave your word you'd pay it. When you walk away, you hurt others financially, in addition...people who did you no harm and you're causing their families to suffer for your actions. It's just wrong all the way around.
Blah Blah Tayia you made me laugh and spit candy out Blah Blah have a great nap Blah Blah dont you love when blogger eats posts :)
Margaret - My husband has a bunch of cousins that live in Alexandria!
Erin - I was hoping for 2 too! It starts at 9, so I was going to get there early - I think it will be a popular event.
Hi Erin in MD :)
10 minutes to finance 101 - I'm putting a do not disturb sign on my door so I can give it my full attention!
Thanks Robin....I was stupid at the time I will straight up admit it but dammit if it isnt one of those things that you try once and you can be hooked that fast. I think it is better to be open about stuff like that because it makes other people recognize that it can and does happen to everyone.
And the whole balloon payment thing that so many got into.....not to be high and mighty but how do people plan to do that kind of a thing?
"i'm glad you said you were sorry. it really shook my mental understanding of you when i saw you'd said that about someone with whom you used to be friendly."
Rhys, in all honesty, I never liked R2 very much, once I really got to know her. That's definitely not meant to be a mean comment, just a factual one and one I'm sure many people could and do say about me. Not everyone likes everyone else and it's fine. Our personalities conflict, nothing more or less, and in the interest of trying to not get kicked off SIP, I just made an effort to hide it.
Deb - I'm not going to Anguilla this year BUT I'm going to Calif. in July. I'm *very, *very OK with that! LOL
EL- Moonsand? That's very brave of you ;-D
Kaytie & AP - I agree!
What is moonsand?
Deb - I grew up in Arlington but have lived down here for about 8 years.
Corinne - CA - exciting! Which part - or all of it? We are going out there end of July/Aug. Mark's sister lives in Eureka, about 5 hours North of San Fran. That should be a great trip for you!!
"Helen gets so upset at me when I put them in that way..."They wont get as clean that way". Ummmmm hello I am anal when doing dishes....they go in the stupid dishwasher CLEAN!!!!"
I'm with Helen. Mine go blades up so they get the full force of the water.
Moonsand is the work of the devil!!! It's gritty sand that can be molded. ::shivers::
I refuse to buy moonsand, it looks messy as hell!
You are an awesome Mom, Erin if you bought that!
Margaret I was just going to tell Shannon that it should be called Satan's Sand. If one.single.grain. comes in my house, it all goes in the trash.
Shannon - http://www.moonsand.com/
Deb - We start by L.A., then we leave Calif for a bit to go to Las Vegas, Grand Canyon, Bryce Canyon, Zion, Monument Valley & Lake Powell, then we go back to Calif. to visit Yosemite Park and then San Francisco.
I'm definitely looking forward to it :-)
UGH that stuff does NOT sound like fun at all...thank goodness my son is too old to want such a mess.
my confession is that *i* thought it would be fun
and it was. until i had to clean up my mess.
alas.
Ok so Moonsand is the modern equivalent to play doh that doesnt dry out so you can find it really mushed into the carpet? They do realize that the joy of playdoh was that one day it would dry up and you could get it out of the carpet?
LOL Rhys isnt that how it often goes for moms with the joy of new stuff for the kids?
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