Show of hands amongst the old people here - who loved The Bay City Rollers?
the daisy rules
- Oopsie Daisy
- Everyone is welcome! The only real rules here are no spamming shit and no posting personal addresses, phone numbers or other similar info. I don't need that kind of stress. That's it, although it could change if someone gets creative or something. If you don't like what is said here, you can: 1) Say so; 2) Hold it in and stew on it; 3. Address it privately to the person who said it; 4) Snark about it to your friends; 5) Leave. Don't bother me with it, I don't care and I won't get involved. I might, however, talk about you behind your back or post your email/message to me on here. *grins* Them's the rules...all of them. Have fun!
do something good
See how Sope Serigne Fallou Group from Senegal and Nuevo Camino Group from Chile doing and check Kiva out for yourself!
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«Oldest ‹Older 1 – 200 of 362 Newer› Newest»Ummmm...I'm telling...you said old! I'm offended :)
Repost:
Not so good. Spent half the night in bed with me. He crackles when he sleeps and this morning when he breathes, he is wheezing. He also is coughing but its not producing anything, its a dry cough.
His doctor opens at 9, so I will see if they can see him. If not, I will go to one of the redi-clinics at Walgreens or something.
No swim lessons today.
morning AP!
How are you this morning?
How are you CK?
Kristin - I'm okay - hair appointment today, then lunch with my sister, niece, grandnieces and dad.
Stuff at home after that. Boring, but I have to quit procrastinating.
The Bay City who? I have heard the song, but didn't know who it was. I guess I'm not *that old.
Mornaing, all! Kristin, I'm sorry to hear about LM.
I'm fine - no hot date with anything but my recliner last night. Had a bad ache-y flare up and shuffled off to it early last night, getting up only to pee. Bah. And we are planning to go to IndiaFest today. I hope I can do this.
SW, I caught up with MWoP as late as around 8 last night...interesting reading, that. Of all the blogs, I suspect this may be the one that really will get under Jennifer's skin.
Going to catch up some more!
I'm old, but I don't remember the group.
I didn't listen to much popular music during the 70's - I think I had three (count them, three!) albums when I was a teenager. John Denver, Three Dog Night, and ????
I guess I was too busy making music myself...
Oh, Christy. The Bay City Rollers...they were a downright phenomenon in the '70's. In my mind, anyway. ;-)
::music geek::
Oh AP - sorry to hear but aren't you excited I got my internet working :) lol
I hope today is better!
CK - sounds like a fun day, other than the house work.
Morning Christy!
CK, that surprises me...you have only a handful of years on me but were just old enough to really experience the best era of music ever!
Morning all! AP, sorry you weren't feeling well last night. I had a scolding all ready for you for abandoning us. Guess I'll just save that for later. :-)
I agree with you that yesterday's MWOP probably pissed JM off royally. :-)
I'm slow getting going this morning. Really need to go to work, we'll see how that goes.
I am excited, Kristin! It's miserable to be without a computer at home, I think.
Jill, you doing better today?
SW, no scoldings today, please. Trust me, I'd have rather been here. Do save it, though...it sounds like fun. *leers*
How many hours a week do you typically work?
AP, how many hours a week I work depends on what you mean by "work." I'm AT work probably 50 - 60 hours a week. Lately I'm not concentrating that well though, so I haven't been very productive. I think it's a combination of things getting a bit slow in late fall and my premenopausal brain not working as great. I find myself easily distracted lately. By MWOP yesterday. By workplace drama and SIP before that. So I end up working weekends to do things I could have done during the week if I'd just buckled down.
Kristin, the laptop I'm borrowing has Windows 7 too, and I'm having a hard time getting used to it. Took me forever to get used to Vista on my old computer.
Ah, I see...it's good that you *can allow for those distractions. Sucks you're in there on a weekend, though. Doing having your supper club tonight?
SW - that sucks that you have to go to work.
I'm on hold for the doctor. LM is playing in his playroom - seems to be in an okay mood, although he did have a melt down this morning.
AP - I know I missed out. I did enjoy some Stix, Foreigner, etc my first year in college. Plus my DJ boyfriend and I were the disco king and queen at the local disco he worked at. Bee Gees, Gloria Gaynor - not sure if their stuff counts as good music.
Have a good day, everyone. BBL.
Kristin - I hope he feels better soon. It's so hard when the little ones are sick.
Oh, and who can forget Boston?
(The group, not the MckFamily destination)
Supper club's only once a month, AP. Two weeks from tonight, not at my house. I invited one of the SC members over tonight to watch a movie. He may have a date though. I invited him because I felt sorry for him because his date cancelled on him (they were supposed to go to Black Eyed Peas concert tonight). But she was e-mailing him saying maybe she *would go after all.
He's my work "spouse," and we've been having rocky times lately. We ended up on opposite sides of the firm drama that happened a few weeks back, and I'm taking it perhaps more personally than I should. The way I see it, though, when someone shows me that they care more about money than people or principles, I believe them and adjust my opinion of them accordingly.
CK the disco queen! Love that!
Bye CK! Have a good day!
I'm not old enough to remember the Bay City Rollers ;)
I'm feeling a bit better. I have a nasty cough though. I got a call from my step-mil, the tot might have an ear infection.
Tee- I started twirling through a rec department program. The instructor though I was good enough to compete and it's been downhill since then.
Awesome! Bay City Rollers...I'm breaking out the roller skates now! lol
Morning ladies.
Hi Sarah and Jill! How's Potato, Sarah? No, it's not wrong to befriend someone for their cooking skills. I tried making my first Indian dish a few weeks ago, and it turned out great and was not hard at all.
CK, disco is good music...really. Although, Boston? I can forgot them. Sorry. ;-)
SW, why was I thinking your SC was once a week. In any event, I agree about changing opinions accordingly but since you have to work together, it's best to keep the relationship as decent as you can. The movie invite was a good idea.
Ugh, I'm putting off showering. Someone sniff at me. Can I skip today?
Jill, glad you are feeling a little better. I would wish you complete health, if not for the "I'm too young to remember" comment. Ha.
bbl - going to the doctor!
bbl - going to the doctor!
Good Luck Kristin
Jill, are you guys in the new place yet? Glad to hear you're a bit better but sorry the boy may be down now. I'm ignoring the age comment...I reckon it's just the illness talking.
Sure, you can skip a shower on Saturday, AP. That's my rule anyway.
Agreed about keeping the work relationship decent. It's been incredibly strained this week. He made a couple of friendly overtures, which I shot down mercilessly. LOL Then yesterday, we didn't speak at all. (Usually we e-mail each other dozens of times a day.)
But when I was leaving his door was open (our offices are right next to each other, which makes "breaking up with him" difficult), and I had a temporary softening to I stopped to talk to him. That's when he told me his date had dumped him, and I felt a tiny bit sorry for him.
Okay, I'm going to go get dressed and head to work. I'll check in with you all from there.
good morning all, i think i'm going to live. it's day 4 of new med and i'm doing okay today. only bad thing is i'm on a sucky diet and bf wants to take me out for dinner. i'll go because thats means i don't have to cook :).
Trudy, I'm glad to hear it's doing some better today!
Brrr! We're reassessing going to IndiaFest now. It's not going to top 45 today and the winds are gale-force, so bad the cruise ships aren't being allowed into port today. Windchills are in the 30s. While I love the weather, IndiaFest is entirely outside in a big, open field and I'm thinking it might be awfully miserable there, even for my cold-loving self.
Hi all!
I hope you are doing well!
It was a busy day here but I feel accomplished :)
Off to catch up!
Hi Corinne! Whatcha been up to?
AP, no way would I go to IndiaFest. Brrrrr is right!
Hey SW! How are you?
I went to have my eyebrows shaped and my hair done this morning.
Then I went shopping and I also bought my mother's birthday present (her 50th bd is tomorrow). I got her a necklace.
I went to the movie with a friend this afternoon. We saw the Lovely bones because he really, really wanted to see it. It was okay.
One of the previews before the movie was for Shutter Island. It looks scary but also very gripping. I'm excited to go see it in two weeks!
Oh, I so hope Shutter Island is good. I love a good scary movie, and so few are really scary. Have you ever seen the movie Candyman, Corinne. You are so young that you may not have seen all the truly scary movies out there.
Got your eyebrows shaped, didja? That's timely! Have you caught up with MWOP from yesterday?
I've not caught up from MWoP yet. I take from your comment that one of the topics was Maisie's unibrow and Mck's weird comment of 'Maisie having the best eyebrows ever. (What kind of compliment is that BTW? O, your eyebrows are awesome...that's weird)
I put the trailer for Shutter Island on FB if you want to watch it.
I've seen Candyman. I loved it. Don't be afraid to talk to me about old movies. Some of my all time faves are Casablance, Citizen Kane and Gone with the wind!
What is the scariest movie you've ever seen?
Sorry I posted this am and went back to bed.
Kristin, I hope LM feels better soon.
I'm so sick of grown women whining online all the time.(not talking about anyone here)
I've never seen Citizen Kane. Pretty dang embarrassing!
Wasn't Candyman terrific? What I loved most about it is that I had no idea what was going to happen. It was completely unpredictable, to me.
The scariest movie I've ever seen, in recent years, is the movie The Orphanage. It's in Spanish with subtitles. If you haven't seen it, you must go get it right away. That movie haunts me in many ways.
I watched it alone, and had to stop it a couple of times because I was just too scared to keep going. It's not a slasher or gory movie, and most of the movie is just good, not scary. But when it gets scary, it gets REALLY scary, to me anyway. I've never seen a scary movie that was as moving as that one was either. It's just all around fantastic.
I thought Blair Witch was very scary. The Shining was scary. The original Halloween was very good.
What is the scariest movie you've ever seen, Corinne?
Just watched the Shutter Island trailer, Corinne. It does look good!
Christy- I understand how you feel.
SW- I have never seen The orphanage. I think I might just watch it.
Well, "The shining" by Stanley Kubrick really scared me.
More recently, I really enjoyed "The others" by Alejandro Amenabar. It is hauting. What is great about the movie is that very few special effects are used to bring out the fear; it adds a dimension to the movie.
I'm off for a while. BBL probably :)
Oh, I really liked The Others too! It had a great creepy vibe. Please go get The Orphanage! You won't be sorry!
I don't like scary movies...I think they would freak me out.
Bye Corinne.
AP- I love ya but I draw the line at sniffing ya. It's nothing personal though, I don't sniff people over the age of 18 months. I'm sorry you had such a rough day and night.
Corrine- You buy good gifts! Do ya'll have a party planned too?
Jill- Thanks for answering me! Baton twirling is a different after school sport and I've been wondering how you came to be involved with it. I'm sorry to hear you're not feeling well.
Kristin- I really hope little man can get in to be seen today. Being sick is no fun.
I don't watch scary movies. Period. I watched a Julia Roberts thriller once and couldn't sleep for three days. That was the last scary movie I'll ever watch.
Hi Tee, I forget that name of that movie...was it the one about her leaving her abusive husband?
Christy- Yes, that's the one. I'm drawing a blank on the name too.
Hear No Evil
The Hand that Rocks the Cradle
The Net
All movies that freaked me out. I'm not a good person to watch movies with unless you want to watch Titanic or Annie.
It was Sleeping with the Enemy. I liked that movie.
Sleeping with the Enemy! Thanks, SW, that was driving me crazy. It was a very good movie, just made for some very rough nights!
Now I'm off to e-mail my sister some more packing list, clean the kitchen, take a shower and start some laundry. If somebody wants to come help, I'll leave a key under the mat for you. I'll even set aside a bowl of cereal for you.
Oooh, scary movie talk. I'm a huge fan of really disturbing movies. Not necessarily a lot of blood or gore (doesn't bother me, though), but truly disturbing stuff. The best one I've seen lately is Martyrs...would recommend it completely but it's not for the faint of heart. It'll stay with you. Love, love, love Funny Games. It's a bright and chipper scary movie...well worth seeing.
Christy -- Just popping in to say without any particular name, there's a grown woman (defnitely not here) that I'm also so very tired of listening to whine online all the time. Seriously, darlin', your life is not that difficult and not everyone is out to get you. That's all I"m sayin'.
Okay. Back to a bifurcation hearing, whatever that is.
I think you recommended Martyrs to me before AP. I just ordered it. Weren't you going to put The Orphanage in your Netflix queue? Did you get it yet?
Hi RiM! What woman are you talking about? Can you give us a hintsip? ;-)
I'm back for a little while ;)
AP- I really liked Funny Games, only the '97 version, though. The one from '07 was a bit disappointing.
SW- I put "The orphanage" on my list of movies I have to see!
And Re: Citizen Kane. Personally, I am a huge Orson Welles fan. The guy was a genius. I love how you can see that he was a great influence for Francis Ford Coppola.
But, I know many people who can't get through Citizen Kane without falling asleep.
CK- I haven't said it yet but good luck to your husband on his interview this week. I really hope he'll get the job! *fingers crossed*
<---- movie nerd
Well, since I scared everyone away, I might just leave. Talking to myself makes me sound crazier than I really am ;)
See ya!
Corinne - I wish I had time, I'd talk to you!
CK -- Good luck to your husband!
I'm back ladies and I am EXHAUSTED!
Little man had a breathing treament and I had to get a nebulizer so I could do it at home. Kinda freaked me out a bit but he was a trooper and did fine.
Sarah - I am sorry you are having issues - I too hate getting my hopes up for something and then getting disappointed. That is one of the worst feelings.
Oh, and LM isn't "acting" sick - he has tons of energy and is in an awesome mood, he is just coughing and the wheezing was noticeable today (he has never had that before), so it was kinda scary.
Corinne, have you seen Heavenly Creatures? It was when I first saw Kate Winslet. Orson Welles figures into the movie; that's what made me think of it. Terrific movie, and I think you would like it.
Kristin, I'm glad it went well with LM.
I really don't do any movies...lol...the last movie I saw in theatres was Mr. and Mrs. Smith - I'm lame.
Like you though, SW, I was a little freaked on Blair Witch. I went before everyone knew it was fake.
There was one with Morgan Freeman and the singers daughter...Ashley Judd..was it Butterfly Effect? or something...that one I liked!
Kristin - Maybe he has asthma? Which would suck, but at least you'd know and be able to treat it?
SW - You have email.
::cackles wildly at my freedom to say that!:::
Sarah - sorry you're feeling down. I hate female crap. With a passion. Also? It's never wrong to befriend someone who knows how to cook. :nod:
Trudy -- It's a little known, but proven fact, that food consumed on a date does not have to be counted in a diet. Enjoy!
Butterfly effect was with Keanu Reeves, I think, and I liked that, too. I can't think what the Ashley Judd/Morgan Freeman one was.
Has anyone seen The Illusionist? With Edward Norton? About a magician? Not scary, but I *love that movie.
http://movies.yahoo.com/movie/1809257693/info
Trudy - Enjoy the night out and I'm glad the meds seem to be working.
RiM - how often do you go to the post office? I think I mailed your stuff on Thursday. I just giggle that you delight in the freedom of saying "you have mail!"
CK - How was your morning out and about? Also, is your hubby excited about this job? Isn't something he really wants to do?
I think these breathing treatments are going to be so much fun, he is already arguing with me. Oh joy!
I think Butterfly Effect was Ashton Kutcher. I never saw it though.
Ashton Kutcher. Yes, you're right! It's good, you'd probably like it you like psychological thriller type things.
Kristin -- I haven't checked my mail since Friday morning, before Friday's mail would have even gotten here. I will check it this afternoon if I can -- I can't wait to get it! Thanks again for doing that for me. I am a slacker, and I suck.
alright ladies, LM wants me to go lay down and we both need a nap. He just did a breathing treatment and he would NOT sit still. Good times to come!
:::loaning Kristin my roll of duct tape:::: :)
Announcement:
I am in one hell of a pissy, mouthy mood. I'm going to go shower and nap and hopefully wake up feeling less...truthful. :-D
If I get on anyone's nerves later, remind me I told y'all to slap me down.
RinM,
The nebulizer isn't very effective when the patient has tape over their mouth.
I DON'T like scary movies. My most awful - Silence of the Lambs and Cape Fear. The whole visual of people eating other people stays with me WAY too long.
Husband says he's pretty interested in the job - but will know more after the interview. He's always worked for huge public companies, and this is a small, privately held firm.
I think a smaller business environment (the right one) would be a good fit for him.
CK - I wasn't picturing over his mouth, but wrapped up mummmy style. Like I'd like to do to the 3 girls currently climbing up and over my head, under and over my desk, and shrieking in general playing tag. Lord. Not enough vodka in the world ....
Ah, RiM - excellent new use for duct tape.
RiM, I don't know if we are talking about the same someone or not, but I'd like to slap her. Just live your life and stop looking for validation and someone to hold your hand all the time. It.gets.old.
Christy -- I'm guessing we are. :-D And if you want validation and ask for it constantly, then if you get it, don't bitch about the *way it's given and whether or not the form is as you'd like, or whether the intent was as stated or has some other sinister meaning. :D
YES!!!!! You are never going to get exactly what you want to hear and are going to scare all of the real people in your life away for good if they can never say the right thing to you. I think most of those people truly care.
I think they do, too. And I am not disinterested, at all. But if everything that's said gets slapped down or dismissed as not being "right" for whatever reason, and every motive is judged as lacking or rude or whatever, eventually I'm not going to bother, either, you know?
I have a similar issue with my sister. She doesn't need constant validation, but she does want to hear a very specific response when she complains about things. I find myself walking on eggshells to say just the right thing. She generally doesn't want constructive advice, just "I'm so sorry, you are absolutely right." Which can get old.
And can I say "whatever" one more time? Geez. Just kick me.
AP, I'm sorry you are in a bad mood. But mouthy AP is always good with us! We're your peeps!
::kicking Robin::
SW -- Especially since those people (and not speaking for your sister, since I don't know her) want to hear that particular reaction in the moment, but when things go bad then they say things like "Why didn't you TELL me?" lol.
I <3 mouthy AP. Although MAP and I have been rounds. Which seems unfair, since I am such a bashful thing myself.
I totally agree with ya RiM.
AP, feel better. We like you however you are!
::liking the MAP acronym::
Another good scary movie? The M. Night Shamalyan Mel Gibson movie. I cared about him and his family sooooo much and was terrified for them!
That was before he hated Jews though. I don't care so much now. :-)
Hey there SW,
So you have a work husband, yes?
Doesn't someone here have a _______ wife? Can't remember for the life of me what the name of it is.
Random: I wish someone would bring me some girl scout cookies.
RinM and Christy - what letter of the alphabet are you talking about? I mean, I can guess, but there are a couple of candidates.
Hi and yes, CK. He considers me his best friend. I considered him a good friend until recently. I'm not feeling the love these days.
SW,
That can happen with even the best marriage. You might find it again. I'd say hang in there - a good husband is hard to find.
::CK trying to stir up some dust so AP comes back and bitches and we can slap her down::
I think AP is off showering or some darn thing. I thought SW *told her she was excused from showering today.
Watching the movie District 9. It's very interesting.
LOL Robin, I did excuse her from showering today. But she didn't mind me.
SW -- I think it's going to be a pattern. ::nods::: Time to have the talk about submission.
CK, the letter has been known to change.
RiM, thanks for backing me up on the cleaning thing. :)
SW said
She generally doesn't want constructive advice, just "I'm so sorry, you are absolutely right." Which can get old.
I'm really trying to figure this issue out as it applies to on line relationships, by observing how the ladies of mckdrama, OHIH, SIP and Oopsie Daisy interact.
I get the feeling that most just want validation for feelings and thoughts, and want to be heard. But don't want advice.
IRL, that's often what I want from my husband, and he used to always try to fix things. He's figured that one out.
But what about here? Or between female friends IRL?
Yeah, AP claims to be submissive. I don't see it. ::shaking head::
Christy - I got it.
CK, IRL I'm always "bad about" giving constructive advice, and not just tsk tsking. I've noticed that MAP is the same way online. I think that's what makes her "mouthy."
I have to laugh at the BF. First women post about these other terribly "unthinking" moms who let their children run around the playground and get too close to their own children, or hit other children.
Then the same women who were complaining about other kids behavior, post about other moms who give them the stink eye when their children "accidentally" bother another child, or get too close.
I guess the definition of inappropriate behavior depends on whether or not your kid is on the giving or receiving side of it.
Hey ladies, interesting conversation.
RiM - I think I will use that duct tape for me and not LM.
I always want advice, but I won't always take it (as you can see with my SO)
I also like to be acknowledged.
Hi ladies!
CK - I understand what you're saying, and I"ll be the first to admit, when I bitch about stuff, that's usually what I want - just validation that I have a right to be pissy about whatever it is I'm bitching about. I don't really want or need advice about how to proceed. But if, for instance, when I bitch about my ex, and people come on and say things like, "What an ass!" "I'm sorry you're dealing with that!" I respond in like -- thank you, yoyu know? I don't go, well, gosh, I can't believe you said it like that, like it's not really this real PROBLEM in my life, it's very serious and much more difficult than others who have been through a divorce have lived through, etc, and you guys don't "geeettt" it , etc. That's all I meant.
I full admit all I want is someone to back me up. I don't want a fix. But if (and htis has happened to me) I come online bitching about something and more than one person, and people who I know to be open minded and fair and in general "on my side" say, hey, I know this is personal to you, but maybe *this was the intent behind whatever happened to you and maybe you're just being over-sensitive, even if it pisses me off at that second, I hope I at least *try to listen and hear what they're saying, not just immediately get offended and assume they just don't get how complicated I am.
You know? That was long-winded. I'm sorry. :-)
Christy -- no worries. I had to, at that point. :-D
I apologize for my typing. Dear God. I do know the order that "t" and "h" go in, I promise.
Hi Kristin!
I will forgive you RiM...I am still trying to get used to this keyboard and it is driving me insane.
LM took a nap, woke up, was talking and then crashed again. I gave him a breathing treatment before his nap b/c he was wheezing...I'm not liking that.
CK: You said:
"I guess the definition of inappropriate behavior depends on whether or not your kid is on the giving or receiving side of it."
That's dead on. Perfect.
Kristin -- You are a perfect example. You've asked for advice. You've gotten some pretty blunt feedback,and it's your life and you choose how to proceed or not. But you don't ask for advice and then flail around whining about what's said to you.
:::sits on the mouthy bench::::
lol RiM! No need to do that!
I think I understand what you're saying RiM. Can I repeat it back?? Probably not, but I get it inside.
Oh, HI SW! I meant to say that earlier. My bad!
I'm hungry. LM is asleep. I think I might just have a roast sandwich.
Kristin -- I'm not a doctor, and not even almost a doctor, but if he does have asthma, once you get on top of that wheezing with a few of those treatments, he should be doing a lot better. Poor little guy. I know personally how bad it sucks for your lungs to "crackle.'
<<--Thinks the mouthy bench is gonna be full tonight!
Thats what is weird. He isn't a sick kid. He, on occasion has a cough but no other problems. This came out of nowhere. Thursday night he had a cough and said his throat hurt...then Friday, still the cough and I noticed the crackling when he slept...and then this morning I noticed the wheeze. He is still active and happy. Just strange!
RiM - I think it's the difference between reacting and responding.
Reacting is usually emotional - out of feeling defensive or insecure - a sensitive nerve HAS been touched and one just blurts out.
Responding seems more open and thoughtful - a sensitive nerve HASN'T been touched, and one can explore what's being said.
I probably won't be there...I'm still a little freaked about the whole breathing treatment thing. I mean, I think its worse for me, he is such a trooper and was playing robot when they did it at the doctor.
CK -- Yes.
I know I used to react a lot more - I think I've mellowed with age and experience and shit happening in my life. You know, shit in your life can certainly bring about a different perspective of what's important and what's not.
And as I get older, I (usually) feel more okay with my perspectives, and don't immediately think that someone who disagrees is saying I'm wrong or bad. So I don't have to jump to defend my beliefs.
But I see some of myself when I was younger in some of the younger women. Only a generalization - certainly not true across the board.
::joining SW on the mouthy bench::
I feel like this is an episode of SuperNanny - the Naughty Bench.
::spankings for everyone:::
Oh. Wait.
RiM - some people here might like that....
LOL Robin!
I love a good debate, so am generally cool with people disagreeing with me. Which is one reason AP and I get along so well, especially considering how wrong she is about a lot of things! :-D
I'm not naughty..lol...I want to be but I'm using the duct tape.
I get where you are coming from CK. I experienced that recently. I did get my feelings hurt. I don't like people not liking me, and then not being able to tell my story - it sucks.
Turn of events with my grandma and now LM - not worth it. I know who I am and if some women are going to be adolescent about it, then so be it. I know me and my heart, and it sucks that people don't trust their gut but my true "friends" know who I am.
You've got a good perspective, Kristin.
I went through something a bit similar on an earlier anti mck board.
The one thing I had a hard time letting go of was how unfair the whole thing was. Cause it was based on lies.
And I felt that way about what happened to you. It did not appear to me to be based on truth/facts.
You know, truth that can be proven (fact based, and not JM's kind of truth about Jesus being like baby leggings) is very important to me - that decisions are based on reality, and people are treated with justice.
SW -- so funny, Kristin and I were just talking about that on IM. Lisa and I haven been *rounds, even recently, and where we've both been very upset, but in the end the debate and disagreement doesn't ruin the friendship. She does tend to stay less emotional and resort to playing mean for longer than I do, however. (A statement I will henceforth deny.) (She is wrong a lot, though. ::nods::)
Robin, how much trouble are *we going to be in when AP gets back? ::shudder::
CK, I love this: "You know, truth that can be proven (fact based, and not JM's kind of truth about Jesus being like baby leggings) is very important to me - that decisions are based on reality, and people are treated with justice."
This is exactly me, and part of why I like you so much.
Thanks CK! That means a lot! I wish I had a chance to defend myself but oh well. I do know that some have their facts incorrect but such is life, they don't want to hear the truth - which is sad really.
RiM - you crack me up!
SW -- We won't be in any trouble. We can just say we were drinking and we're very sorry.
Just blame it on the daisy's!
Anything goes here...except for tattling to the boss lady :)
Kristin...sadly some people are just unwilling to admit when they are wrong.
SW,
Awww, I like you too.
My world was rocked big time when the justice system that I believed in, that would look to provable facts when ruling, dealt a huge injustice to my kids. I couldn't believe that could happen.
How do you deal with that as an attorney? I bet you see it all the time?
::going to get a beer::
On re-reading, how freaking narcisstic does this sound? "This is exactly me, and part of why I like you so much." Uh, I like CK because she reminds me of me. LOL What a stupid thing to say!
Ladies,
AP said we could slap her down if she got attitude with us. We have permission....
SW,
Long lost twin sisters separated at birth?
Or very early clones?
You knew I meant well, though CK. My law practice is a pretty narrow field (intellectual property), and issues that I work on usually don't involve moral wrongs that you can get stirred up about. Which is good, since I'd have to be on my client's side no matter what.
I have nothing good to add to what Rim and SW have said CK re: seeking validation. I agree with them. It's not that I don't care, but that I feel like I've been sucked dry and I can only say "oh, you poor thing" so many times, not that I would do that, which is why it gets on my nerves so much. I will tell you (general you) I am sorry for whatever you are going through, but can't bring myself to just say what I know you are fishing for if it's not how I feel. I think it would be far better to hear the truth even if it stings a bit, than have everything sugar coated.
CK -- Some day if you want to talk about that, I'd love to hear. (Forgive me, my brain is fuzzy -- did we talk about this on SIP and a child custody fight?)
Christy -- I could not agree with you more. On all of it.
SW -- I think from my years of typing this crap, that my argumentative side could be very good as a defense attorney. I do tend to get wrapped up emotionally, though, on whatever side I "feel," and that might work against me. Might? Would work against me.
I think some of us process things internally, and we do our thinking through in our heads.
Others (I have a SIL like this) need to say/write the words to someone else in order to work through them.
It used to drive me crazy that she'd call and talk about how she couldn't make a decision about something, and then proceed to tell me every possible option, or scenario, or worry, or reason why/why not. I'd just want to tell her to STFU and make up her mind.
But after a while I figured out that that is how she could get to a place to make a decision.
Now me, I usually do that stuff on my own.
RiM, Yes a totally improper decision by an inexperienced family court judge about custody.
Some day we'll talk.
I "do that stuff on my own" too, CK. (it's like looking in a freaking mirror! LOL)
Some of you will remember that I've been "helping" my friend in a child custody battle he's having to try and keep custody of his daughter over his lying cheating crazy whore wife. Not helping him legally, other than helping him get a good attorney, but helping him emotionally and practically. I must say, watching him go through this and worrying about it myself has been very tough and emotional. I'm haunted by the awful things his wife has said and done to him and his daughter. And he's just a friend. Not even a really close friend before this came up. I can't even imagine how awful it would be for it to be MY spouse and MY kids at issue in the dispute. My hat is off to CK and anyone who has gone through that and survived relatively intact.
SW,
Do you feel like decisions will be made based on the truth (proven)?
In my friend's child custody case? Yes. Assuming he gets the same judge at trial as in the temporary custody hearing, which isn't a done deal. My friend "won" temporary custody, as he should have. He is a super upstanding guy, salt of the earth type. His wife has some obvious mental issues (obvious to me anyway), and did not make a good witness at all. I think that my friend should and will "win" permanent custody. The problem is that his wife is doing everything she can to alienate their daughter from him. We believe that she spends every minute of her visitation time badmouthing my friend (daughter is 9), such that his daughter is withdrawn and sullen for the first full day after she gets back from her Mom's. So even if he "wins," his daughter is getting royally fucked up, no matter what happens. It's very sad.
CK - Not answering for SW, but I think, based on what I do for work, that decisions sometimes get based on truth, and sometimes get based on emotion, and sometimes get based on who can present the best "story" in court, which unfortunately oftentimes depends on who has the money to afford the best attorney and one with a good reputation. I struggle with it, because I want to believe in our system, and I don't think we have any other better alterantives at present, but it doesn't always provide for the best outcome for the parties who matter.
One advantage that my friend has that many do not is that he's got plenty of money. He can easily afford good legal representation for as long as it takes.
Robin, you make a good point, and I firmly believe that the person with the most money has a big advantage in court.
Like you never see a rich person get the death penalty.
It's so sad for that little girl. I hope your friend can be patient and understanding with his daughter about what she's going through.
If she had a neutral third party to talk to, to vent and develop some coping skills, that could help her too. Nobody can change the mom, so dad and the daughter need to find strategies for dealing with it.
SW -- I hate that so much. Long story, but involving a religion I have chosen to leave, and that my ex has, for the first time in 18 years, chosen to embrace. When my girls go for their weekend with him, and after every single Wednesday night they spend with him, they come back sullen, wound up and fighting, and ... just in general a mess. He, and his family, tell them how evil I am, how I am going to die, etc., etc., It takes a day or two and they are back to themselves. I hate it.
My kids both had counseling, and I think it was really important. They could go there and bitch safely about both their mom and dad.
SW - Good for your friend. And yes, money to pay for good legal representation is never a waste. IMO.
Okay - still catching up since LM woke up and trying to feed him, etc.
SW - if your friend has $$ can he get her into counseling.
I am sorry for that little girl and your friend. I hope that the little girl will eventually see her mother for what she is and really see that her father is not what her mother says he is.
CK, she is in counseling. I hounded my friend until he got her to a counselor, who I found for him. The counselor is terrific. She is clearly worried about the daughter though. She told my friend it would be best if the daughter didn't have to see her Mom for six months, so that she could "heal" from the damage already inflicted. That's never going to happen, as you know.
My friend is patient. He's not really good at communicating though. (Kind of the strong silent type who assumes everything is okay if nobody's talking about the problem.) I'm pushing now for him to get a counselor of his own to talk to and help him open up the channels of communication with his daughter.
Can the girl's therapist testify that a break would be in her best interest?
SW -- I don't know how your state works. Can he prolong this and not agree to a parenting plan until they force them into counseling and interviews with psychiatrists and such? I know here if you can't agree to a parenting plan within the court scheduling time you are forced into that program and they will interivew and evaluate the child.
Robin, it's just sickening that your ex and his family get to do that to your kids. Ugh! It's child abuse and judges should be willing to treat it as such and freaking not allow visitation!
And yes, like CK said, if a therapist can testify that a break is in order, or that visitaiton can only be supervised, that would help.
You're the attorney, and I know you know. I'm just ... talking.
RiM,
I'm so sorry about your situation. For your daughters.
Okay ladies - motrin or acetaminophen first for LM's fever?
It's only 100 but his eyes are glassy.
He took a really long nap. I feel bad for him but he is in a really good mood.
SW -- I know it is. I don't have the money to fight him. All I have is the knowledge that I have always been the one person my girls go to, and that that continues. And that they see what's going on and that eventually, if I keep that communication open and strong with them, they see what they are offered when they are here in terms of a real family and acceptance, they will eventually have the backbone to call bullshit. That's all I can hope for.
I know less than nothing about family law, so I don't know how things work here. I'm learning how it works with my friend as it progresses. I do know that the court has appointed a "guardian ad litem" who is an independent evaluator who represents the child, and not either party, and reports to the judge. That can only be good for my friend.
But I still find it hard to believe they would really not let the mother get visitation, which clearly (to me) be what is in the best interestd of the child.
I made my own share of mistakes in the whole thing. Mostly by being angry with my ex over his neglect and emotional abuse of the children.
It's damn hard to hide how pissed you are when you see their other parent treating them like crap. And I failed some at that for a while.
I never called him names, but was honest with them about his flaky behavior.
CK - Thank you. They're good kids, and they're smart. They are hurting, but they are thinking, too, and they see the difference. I just have to (which is hard for me) not resort to playing emotional cards with them. Just being me and staying consistent with them as the same person that's always been there for them. I just have to trust that the people they are, that I've tried to help form, are as strong as I think they are.
I hate that for the kids. It is so very wrong but it happens all the time!
My mom really was awesome and did not talk bad about my father even though he was/is an ass. My grandmother...not so much! She would call him a jackass all the time!
I don't talk about LM's father at all and I won't until he asks and then I will not talk bad about him.
"That's all I can hope for." That will happen, Robin. It has to. Your girls are smart and will figure it all out.
I am sorry for you on that RiM but that is good that you are consistent and they know they can come to you.
CK - sorry too for you! I know being *that child, it is difficult, it hurt me for my sisters the most.
Okay...now Motrin or Acetaminophen???
SW-- the guardian ad litem is a very good thing for your friend. In absence of actual physical abuse, they most likely will never try to take away all visitation, but they can definitely recommend supervised visitation which would cut back on her ability to try and brainwash their daughter.
And CK - I know it's always easy when you're on the outside of a situation looking in to say I would *never, ever act like X. When you're in a situation and when you are hurting and your kids are hurting, taking the high road is sometimes next to impossible.
Kristin -- crap, I don't know. My guess would be the Acetaminophen. But I'm not almost a doctor.
RiM - you're taking the high road, and you're right. The girls will sort it all out.
My kids did the same - they knew they couldn't count on their dad, so they counted on me. But they still wanted to believe that he was there for them, and would defend him through his screw-ups.
Now, as adults, not so much.
I give you and Kristin huge props for taking the high road. It can be exhausting.
Kristin, I'm no help either. I don't know nothin' bout babies!
Bad mom award....lol..I let him pick :)
He chose motrin!
and no, I don't need validation...I'm laughing about it actually!
CK -- Yes. That's what hurts me the most right now. My girls SO want to believe their dad and that is there, for the first time, for them. I hurt for them for that, too, but I can't fix that, either. In time, and very soon, he will resort to the person he's always been, and it's going to hurt twice as much this time for them.
I'm out for the night. Damn, always when things get good! I'll read and catch up as I can. Have a good evening, all!
Kristin, I've always thought that Motrin is better at working quicker. I've also been told that you can alternate Tylenol w/ Motrin every 3 hours by our dr. You may want to call yours if you decide you need to try that.
Thanks for sharing on this RiM.
Night RiM!
Do we have an acronym for this place?
Oopsie Daisy is kind of long to write out.
OD? OD IST? ODIST? (sounds like oddest - isn't that appropriate)
RiM - I know you just left but I had a hard time seeing my father do that to my sisters. I was 17, my sisters were 12 and 7. My youngest sister really wanted her dad to be that guy. And he was, when he had a girlfriend. It broke my heart when she would look at passing cars in the hopes that it would be him. Many times they would have their bags packed and he would not show up, and they would be in tears. Eventually they figured it out, but it hurt. I can just imagine how my mom felt..and then not saying anything bad about him.
Mck tweeted this: "Ordered pizza with my sister. We all chowed down and then they took off."
Doesn't that sound like they ordered delivery pizza? She acts like they live in the country. But nobody delivers pizza to the country, do they?
ODIST sounds like OLDEST, and since we're not age-sensitive here, maybe that's appropriate!
Bye RiM!!
I second ODIST.
They DON'T live in the country. It is outside the Twin Cities, but I would not classify it as the country.
Like a 4th ring suburb. Where people who want a nice house but can't afford to afford something closer in buy. And then have an hour commute into the metro area.
"Many times they would have their bags packed and he would not show up" Damn, Kristin. That's really sad. :-(
Yeah, it sucked...I HATED it and spoiled them to make up for it.
OT - there are a lot of Texans in the olympics too. One guy earlier was from Spring...I did not know that. He was in speed skating and I think he has 2 more events.
another OT - LM is telling me about his car, and it has a bo-bo and is at the hos-pee-tal!
Oh, yes - my father is a piece of work.
Excited to watch Apollo! He's a hottie!
Kristin- I would have gone with the Motrin first too.
I've been in a out all day. We were finishing up at the old house.
I finally figured out who you were talking about earlier. Totally get what you are saying.
Yup, Apollo's a cutie! ::nods::
Are you all done at the old house, Jill?
Feels good to know I'm not the only one.
Jill's back! Hey Jill! Are you "all done" at the old house. Doesn't it seem like the last little bit of taking things and cleaning up takes forever?
Jill, you've got fresh eyes. How much trouble are we in with AP for our earlier discussion? (she asked, hopefully)
Oh, Jill! Good to hear that you are finishing up!
How's the toe?
Thanks ladies!
Anyone done breathing treatments before with their little ones, should I do one right before bedtime or an hour or so before?
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