Show of hands amongst the old people here - who loved The Bay City Rollers?
the daisy rules
- Oopsie Daisy
- Everyone is welcome! The only real rules here are no spamming shit and no posting personal addresses, phone numbers or other similar info. I don't need that kind of stress. That's it, although it could change if someone gets creative or something. If you don't like what is said here, you can: 1) Say so; 2) Hold it in and stew on it; 3. Address it privately to the person who said it; 4) Snark about it to your friends; 5) Leave. Don't bother me with it, I don't care and I won't get involved. I might, however, talk about you behind your back or post your email/message to me on here. *grins* Them's the rules...all of them. Have fun!
do something good
See how Sope Serigne Fallou Group from Senegal and Nuevo Camino Group from Chile doing and check Kiva out for yourself!
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«Oldest ‹Older 201 – 362 of 362 Newer› Newest»I have a thing for Asian guys :)
Clearly I'm further out in the country than MckMama, no one will deliver out here. We are in a subdivision in the middle of farmland.
There are some last little things left at the old house. The process is taking forever.
SW- I don't see why AP would be mad. I just assumed her bad mood had nothing to do with here though, I could have missed something.
Kristin, is he on something like Xopenex that will not make him wired? Regular albuterol can make him hyper.
its albuterol. He did have a treatment and about 1/2 hour later took a nap...so I dunno.
He's almost on! Lets go Apolo!
Kristin- the toe is a really pretty shade of purple right now. I'd take a picture, but my feet are not nearly as pretty as JM's.
I have never done breathing treatments with the tot so I'm no help there.
He's sexy but only 27!
ouch Jill! No bueno!
LOL Jill, I'm kidding about AP being mad at us. I may have taken a bit of friendly license in expanding on her mouthiness is all. There is no negative drama here today! Start calling us old and there might be though!
Kristin, I have a thing for Asian guys too!
Kristin, I would just make sure you didn't give it too close to the last treatment.
woo hoo! He's hot!
Apollooooo!!!
That was an awesome move!
He made that look easy! I was a bit worried.
You lost me Christy?
Don't give what to close to the last treatment?
My mom has a Cougar crush on Apollo.
Sorry Kristin. You asked when you should give LM's bedtime breathing treatment and I said not to give it too close to the last treatment just in case it made him jittery or hyper.
I have a cougar crush on Apollo too. If by "cougar" you mean a fat, middle-aged cat lady. And you probably don't...LOL
SW,
We must be identical cougar twins separated at birth, with different preferences for our prey. Don't like the soul patch thingy.
Well, to be honest, I don't like soul patches either. And physically, he's not really my type. I like meat on bones. But he's got the cutest smile and twinkle in his eyes. I love his personality.
SW,
I do like the smile and twinkle.
Moguls? Don't look like fun at all.
My doxie set a new olympic record tonight.
Less than 7 minutes of play before he chewed a hole in his valentines day present - a plush conversation heart.
LOL CK! Cute! Damn, I wish I had some chocolate.
Okay, ya gotta check MWOP and Mck! A new Mck post is up, and she included everything everybody on MWOP predicted she would. Tooo funny!
OMG! that is torture for a mother...to get a 3 year old to stay still for about 10 - 15 minutes.
and Christy...I am still lost...and maybe I am reading it wrong. i asked if I should give him a breathing treatment right at bedtime or before. I'm reading the breathing treatment and last treatment as the same.
Sorry....just trying to get what you are saying and really not understanding.
I just gave it to him, so I will try to put him down in about 30-45 minutes.
Sorry Kristin. Trying hard to explain, but not doing a good job.
No worries Christy...I gave him his last treatment....all he has to do is the mask with the abuterol. I think maybe you think he has to do a treatment with the abuterol and then a breathing treatment....and he doesn't, all he has to do is sit still for 10-15 minutes and breathe in the abuterol. We just did it....and i think next time, I am going to have to have a drink in hand.
Oh hell...he's sexy!
Hey Kristin-- just jumping in here. Albuterol does make kids hyper. My daughter would get the shakes from it. We used to give the last treatment about an hour before bed and she did fine.
I think what Christy was trying to say was make sure enough time past since the previous treatment before giving him the one you just did.
Sorry to butt in. My daughter did breathing treatments from the time she was 6 months old until she was almost 2. She had RSV at 6 momths so every time she got a cold it went straight to her chest.
Christy-thanks for the information, there's nothing in my state but I've been looking at a few things in the store.
Just played my first Wii game - Bowling. I won a Wii at the party for my office job.
Husband 138, Me 136.
It's fun.
ahhh....I so get it now Sandy! Thanks!
Yes, his last treatment was right before nap - around 3:00 - and I just gave him another one.
Awesome CK!
Your welcome Sandy. I know some of the ND's in my area travel to other states. If it's something you are interested in it may be worth it to call and see if they can find someone who travels to your state.
And thanks Sandy for clarifying my comments to Kristin...it's exactly what I was trying to say.
Christy, that's what I'm thinking of doing. If they don't travel, they may be able to hook me up with someone.
Kristin,
Hey there! Sorry to hear about LM. What was the diagnosis, I haven't done treatments, but it sounds stressful. How is your grandmother?
I loved the Bay City Rollers.
Christy/Sandy....did I totally miss something? Went back through a few posts above and was trying to figure out what you are talking about....I'm feeling a bit stupid tonight. :(
Don't mind me!
No, you're not stupid Kristin...I emailed Sandy with some info.
Hi Laura! How are the gentlemen? Are they liking the snow better yet? I seem to remember that they didn't like it at all, at first.
Hey Laura - the doc said bronchiolitis - but he has crap in his lungs and having a difficult time breathing. His O2 level was 91.35 or something...and it should be up above 95. Nothing to alarming but freaky since I haven't endured any medical problems with him.
HOw are the gentlemen?
G'ma is good, thanks for asking. They are going to check for diabetes.
Okay, thanks! I was like...hmmmm...did I totally just skip over something that someone said...I was really lost there and just wanted to make sure that I wasn't losing it. I haven't even had a single drink tonight...I think I need one!
Kristin-it was from last night. Some possible help for my daughter. Sorry I lost you.
No worries...I'm just starting to think that there is a conspiracy to make me go insane tonight :)
Kristin, I'm starting to think you're just going insane tonight! ;-)
We had a wonderful snow today: woke up with snow, clear roads, total melt by 2pm. Love it when it snows and it's gone the same day.
The gentlemen love the idea of snow, but not the actual dealing with snow. Today we went to the gym instead of playing in it, except for stomping the snow on the walkways.
They are now really into V-day cookies. We had an hour long dual fit over wanting more heart cookies instead of dinner. I did win, we took a stroller walk and I told them that the neighbors ate all of the cookies. Yes, I'm mean like that!
Sw when is your movie date? That is very kind of you. Sorry about the office strife and friendships. It is strange what money issues will do to people.
The movie date didn't end up happening. But we had a friendly conversation today so things are starting to thaw a bit.
I think if I was a luger...and that guy just died, I would be very scared to get on the track.
I think so SW - and I don't like it!
I missed Apolo :(
"Yeah, AP claims to be submissive. I don't see it. ::shaking head::"
No. No, you haven't. :-D
I'm back. I'm still disagreeable but I've got a better handle on my tongue. Maybe.
*plucks daisy petals*
Shall I drink?
Shall I not?
Shall I drink?
Shall I not?
Exciting race!
DRINK AP!
I saw the replays...that was exciting...I was trying...for the 5th or 6th time to get LM down!
I gotta vote with Kristin, AP, drink!
Well, drat, AP. You came back just as I'm heading off to bed. Ya'll don't have too much fun without me!
"And as I get older, I (usually) feel more okay with my perspectives, and don't immediately think that someone who disagrees is saying I'm wrong or bad. So I don't have to jump to defend my beliefs."
I agree, CK. It takes a lot to personally offend me anymore. I like people having different opinions and ideas, whether I agree or not. One of the things I got hand-slapped for on SIP was being "too black and white" and that the world isn't like that. I was told I cause things to "fester" in people. I happen to disagree with that and believe that in the end, things are fairly black and white but that most people simply don't tear them down to their base components, where I can't rest until I have. So, I suppose I do often think people are wrong, but never bad for disagreeing with me.
Whew, that was a tangent-y thing. Is anyone festering?
"Lisa and I haven been *rounds, even recently, and where we've both been very upset, but in the end the debate and disagreement doesn't ruin the friendship. She does tend to stay less emotional and resort to playing mean for longer than I do, however. (A statement I will henceforth deny.) (She is wrong a lot, though. ::nods::)"
Bitchface. I'm not wrong a lot. I do admit to playing mean longer, although that's not really what I'm doing. What it really is is a combination of wanting to win and holding a grudge. :-D However, you know as well as I do that it takes one word from you, and it doesn't even need to be an apology, just an indication that you still care and I'm done. It's over and all is good again. Hmph.
lol...you guys are too cute! Maybe the two of you should hook up!
Yeah, I think the breathing treatment should be 2 hours before bedtime, he's in his room just talking away and I need sleep! Now he is playing his harmonica!
Hmmm, AP, my first reaction to your comment is that I tend to see things much more gray than I used to.
As it applies to people, I guess I don't see people as all good or all bad. I think we're all some of both.
As I re-read what you wrote, maybe it's just how we're using the words gray, black and white.
Things are often so much more complicated than they seem - that's why I have trouble with coming to Either/Or conclusions.
I'm going to think about what you said - that when you dig deeper into the stuff surrounding an issue or problem, you get to something very simple?
Oh, gosh...I'm sorry if I left anyone with the impression someone here upset me. I wasn't even upset, just frustrated and pissy with stuff not from here. Sorry! And I think everyone has been far too polite, truth be told!
Okay, I'm back to agree with CK. It's all shades of gray. No black. No white. (Except for this particular point, which is very black and white, i.e., that there is no black and white.)
AP, wrong again! :-)
AP, I don't think you gave that impression. I think I actually caused it, with faux alarm that you would be pissed about us calling you (a) wrong a lot, and (b) MOP. LOL
Okay, now I'm curious as to what AP and RiM have fought so hard about. Anybody care to share?
MOP = MAP
AP,
What kinds of things are you talking about when you talk about being "wrong"?
Beliefs, science, values?
"I'm going to think about what you said - that when you dig deeper into the stuff surrounding an issue or problem, you get to something very simple?"
Yes, exactly! I do agree that people are both good and bad within a person, though. Situations, however, and events are vrey black and white when you stop letting your own (generically speaking) opinions, emotions and desires color it.
G'night, SW. See you tomorrow. God, you go to bed early.
AP,
Or I guess I should say what kinds of things are you talking about when you say you're "not wrong a lot"?
We fight primarily about a certain dumbass we're on an email loop together with. Only Robin doesn't think the dumbass is a dumbass. She *likes the dumbass. It's really one of Robin's only bothersome faults though, so I can live with it. :-D
A lot of human behavior, when you tear away all the details of a specific situation, is based in fear.
I guess that's one example I can see where something is black and white.
I missed where SW said she was going to bed. Really....I am off my game tonight!
Goodnight then SW!
I'm not wrong about things being black and white, SW! You say they're all shades of gray but you can't have gray without a root core of black and white. *smiles brightly and winks*
Am going to try to read today's posts fast - and catch up - but wanted to say hello first!
Hands UP for the Bay City Rollers! I'm not ashamed to say I am old, and I remember them!! Yep... I'm old!!
I feel like crap! Aching, sore throat, stuffy nose, headache... Just feel like straight doodoo!!
I'm reading too fast...what's MAP? I've been seeing MAP, MOP...help!
MAP = Mouthy AP!
Hey AP,
I survive this stuff by seeing discussions on these topics as just that - things to consider. I don't necessary have to come up with a conclusion or an answer. Or sort it out immediately.
Or give up what I believe at the moment. But I find it interesting and healthy to wrestle with it all. And over time, my beliefs get shaped and stretched and re-shaped.
Hello! How's the evening going? I'm trying to read back through the day's comments so I'm not caught up yet. Anything interesting going on? Anybody out there to keep me company while waiting on my doctored up cup of lemon pudding to kick in?
MAP = Mouthy AP
AP,
What kinds of things are you talking about when you talk about being "wrong"?
Beliefs, science, values?
Hmmm...beliefs, values, ethics? Those are personal and I don't think are ever wrong unless someone finds it to be ethical to commit murder or such. I can't call them gray, either, since they are not for the people holding them. I'd call them personal black and whites, if that makes sense? I'm not often wrong about core situations, though, and roots of problems. At least I don't think I am. ;-)
::echo::
and now I see where SW said she was going to bed!
Goodnight!
and who in their right mind would want to do moguls (sp?)....that just hurts my knees watching it...and hurts my brain...that is just too jarring.
Lisa - I meant that you take longer to take the bait and *be mean than I do. And yeah, we're an embarrassing friendship, for all our tough act. I'm sort of ashamed of us. :-D
Okay, not really.
I'm going to bed. I've made Kelly watch three episodes of Project Runway in a row. He's feeling the need to exert his hetero-ness. I might be in trouble. :::cackle::
"A lot of human behavior, when you tear away all the details of a specific situation, is based in fear.
I guess that's one example I can see where something is black and white."
EXACTLY! This is what I mean. That's taking it to the core and seeing that it is, indeed, black and white. People want to vclutter it all up with other emotions, circumstances, feelings, etc., and then claim it's gray but it's not.
Go RiM - no more sharing :)
Yes, we have "fought" recently about someone that I consider a friend that AP can't deal with. But she's my shade of gray, and I figure if I stand for one friend, I stand for another.
Or something. As I've said, I'm going to bed. :-D
AP,
Okay, so personal black and whites....to me that sounds like an oxymoron - different because they are personal - not the same black or same white for everyone.
Are there universal black and whites?
"A lot of human behavior, when you tear away all the details of a specific situation, is based in fear.
I guess that's one example I can see where something is black and white."
That is perfect. And without waxing all poetic here given a lot of recent life changes, that sums up ... a lot.
So
"Or give up what I believe at the moment. But I find it interesting and healthy to wrestle with it all. And over time, my beliefs get shaped and stretched and re-shaped."
Again, yes, I agree. I do the same. Welfare and other financial failures are good examples of where I've looked at current situations in our country and revised a few of my thoughts based on what I've heard and seen.
I said that very poorly. If your personal black and white are different than my personal black and white, they can't be black and white? KWIM?
alright ladies, you guys are getting deep and my brain is really messed up already. I don't want to think..and I am pretty sure I will be up a bizillion times tonight.
Goodnight!
Lisa - I meant that you take longer to take the bait and *be mean than I do. And yeah, we're an embarrassing friendship, for all our tough act. "I'm sort of ashamed of us. :-D
Okay, not really."
ROFL...we're a pair. Yes, you snap first but I cut deeper. Between us, we could rule something small and vaguely British.
Sleep when you can. Maybe you should take my "dear" niece's technique and drug LM with Benadryl. JK.
AP,
What do you think about our discussion of what's normal blog etiquette - just affirm people who post about problems, or give them advice?
Esp when you think they're "Wrong"? hehe
"Okay, so personal black and whites....to me that sounds like an oxymoron - different because they are personal - not the same black or same white for everyone."
I don't think it is at all. There's nothing "wrong" (not that you said it *is wrong) with people having personal b&ws, nor does it make them less black b&w until you start muddling it with someone else's personal b&w. Then? You get some gray.
Are there universal black and whites?
"I said that very poorly. If your personal black and white are different than my personal black and white, they can't be black and white? KWIM?"
Sure they can be. It's as simple as shirts. I'm wearing a black shirt and also have a white one. You're wearing a white one and also have a blackone. We muddle them in the wash instead of washing them separately and you, at least, get a gray shirt. Same if we wash my white one and your black one. I get a gray shirt. But separately, we each had black and white shirts.
"What do you think about our discussion of what's normal blog etiquette - just affirm people who post about problems, or give them advice?
Esp when you think they're "Wrong"? hehe"
Smartass. ;-) I think if someone posts about a problem, they're offering it up as needing or wanting advice, unless they specific they're just venting and prefer no advice. That being the case, I think it's incredibly rude and childish to not make that specification and then get pissy when advice is offered up, as long as that advice doesn't involve telling you to just off yourself because you're such a fuck-up or some such thing.
Ruh-roh...rambling to myself now. G'night, Kristin and hi, Karen!
So your black and white can be very different from my black and white.
If that's true, how can I tell you that yours are wrong for you? I can say they're wrong for me.
That's what I would call grey. Perhaps it's just semantics.
When I hear black and white, I hear universal - clear, simple, shared understanding.
Hi AP - still catching up - sounds interesting in here tonight!
I had to go to the motor vehicles today and did not like it one bit... my birth certificate was not "good enough" for them and now I have to go to the health department and get a certified copy... the one I have has a seal and has been good enough for everything so far... but apparently now their rules have changed, and if you have footprints on your BC it is not good enough, and you need a new one.... Bullshit I say!!! I don't feel good, and that pissed me off today!!!
AP,
Re: advice or affirmation - You have a VERY different perspective from what I've seen from most people the blogs/forums I've been on (mainly the various versions of mckdrama, OHIH, BGGB, SIP, here so far).
Seems like many people are looking for somebody to listen or affirm what they, themselves, think they should do.
Hi Karen!
hey everyone! skimming through your chats...seem pretty deep for me tonight. my contribution-i only see things in shades of gray. it bugs me sometimes. especially when there's an issue i feel certain about (black/white) but when i really get to thinking, i end up in the gray zone and confuse myself.
kristin i hope your little guy will feel better soon. it's awful when they're sick. =(
on an off topic, has anyone seen HiT? i've not been around much but unless she's got a new name, i don't think i've seen her since sometime in the OHIH days. hope she's ok.
"If that's true, how can I tell you that yours are wrong for you? I can say they're wrong for me."
Exactly. But it's still black and white, just for that specific person.
"That's what I would call grey. Perhaps it's just semantics."
It, imo, becomes gray when yours bleeds into mine, or vice versa.
"When I hear black and white, I hear universal - clear, simple, shared understanding."
Ahhh, there we go. I see it on a more personal level because not a lot is really universal, simple and shared. Actually, I'm not sure anything is.
"but apparently now their rules have changed, and if you have footprints on your BC it is not good enough, and you need a new one.... Bullshit I say!!! I don't feel good, and that pissed me off today!!!"
It's that way here. We have birth certificates and then we have records of birth (which have footprints). We can't use the footprint one, it's just a commemorative thing. Sorry you had such a hard time and on top of not feeling good.
Heather- you're asking about Heather in Texas?
I'll send her an e-mail and check in with her.
"Seems like many people are looking for somebody to listen or affirm what they, themselves, think they should do."
I don't play that game. Either I know what to do or I don't. If I don't, I'll put it out there and accept all thoughts on it. If I do, I may still put it out there and don't mind thoughts on it, but I don't *need them. Frankly, I don't care for needy, weak people who need frequentaffirmation and validation on things.
Hi CK how are you today? Nice to see you online *live!
Patti had a hard time even getting her BC - they couldn't find it - and she was adopted... we were starting to tell her she doesn't even exist!! LOL she finaly got it after sending money to NY twice, and I thought that mine was easy, I knew exactly where it was in a folder, in the filing cabinet, walked up to that counter top ready to get my new license and they told me its not good enough - blah!! And I showered, did my hair and put on makeup for hells sake!! Now I'm going to have to do that all again next week for my license picture!! Ugggh!!!!
Not sure who you all were talking about earlier in the discussion about someone talking on a board like this one, and stating what is going on, but then being specific about what type of feedback they want to hear... and I can just say AMEN - I am sick of a mess similar to that for sure!!!
CK, let her know about us here, will you? Not as an alternative, but as an addition-to. I miss her, too.
Hi, I'm here! I'd jump up and down but I can't so instead I'm just waving frantically. I'm here!
Okay, over it now. Thank you.
Heather - you're going to laugh at me once you check your e-mail.
AP you said Frankly, I don't care for needy, weak people who need frequent affirmation and validation on things.
and I agree - I don't mind giving validation, but don't tell me "how" to validate... Let me state my own feelings, affirmation, validation, don't tell me that I can say this, this or this, but not that, that or that. If I feel that, i want to say that!!
"And I showered, did my hair and put on makeup for hells sake!! Now I'm going to have to do that all again next week for my license picture!! Ugggh!!!!"
It won't kill you. It'll make you all purtier for Patti!
Hi Tee! Nice to see you *live* online too!!
Ok i'll do it one more time! I'm getting LAZY not doing that stuff now that I haven't been working! I submitted a resume to a job that sounds really good last night, I hope I at least get the chance to interview! and its in an office, and probably will be a little stressful which is what I just decided I didn't want, but this sounds like something I could like... so I submitted m resume and wrote a good cover letter... I'll see what happens
Karen- Oh, thank you! I was beginning to think I'm invisible.
I'm just attempting to be sarcastic. I hope nobody is taking me seriously tonight. I'm feeling sarcastic, snarky and somewhat pissy.
Evening, Tee. Any word on the possible move?
"and I agree - I don't mind giving validation, but don't tell me "how" to validate... Let me state my own feelings, affirmation, validation, don't tell me that I can say this, this or this, but not that, that or that. If I feel that, i want to say that!!"
Yes!! By simply acknowledging you, giving thought to your problem and taking the time to offer up my best help, I've affirmed and validated you. Anything more is pathetic and weak, not to mention annoying as hell. I'm so glad t know I'm not the only one who sees it this way.
TEE!!! Hi there. I think my post to you earlier got eaten but I did see you. :-)
I didn't think you were sarcastic Tee! You might have been invisible though, cause I don't remember seeing you before this one last post!! LOL gonna go scroll up and see what type of snark and pissy I missed from you!!! :)
CK- Afraid not! Mom and Dad have talked about it non-stop but still have not made a decision. There are just so many variables, you know? I am just praying for the Lord to guide us as a family through this decision. I would love to be close enough to the girls to spend some real one on one time with them!
How is your daughter doing?
Karen, do you have a contact number? I'd call them by Tuesday to make sure they received your resume and to stress how much you'd appreciate the chance to interview. Sometimes that bit of personal contact can make a difference. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you.
AP and Karen,
Interesting thoughts - and certainly different from the observed behavior of most people on the blogs I've been on.
Right, and I refuse to be pathetic and weak - just to make someone else feel better... if you don't want to know how I feel about something, then don't ask! I'd rather say nothing at all - than passify someone... that is annoying as hell!! I don't want anyone to pacify me.. and I sure as heck am not doing that for someone else!! I tend to tell it like I see/feel it!!!
AP- Hi! I've been thinking about you all day for some reason. Sorry to hear that you're in a rough mood. Anything specific going on that you want to talk about or just life in general? I'm feeling bitchy so I can sympathize!
Karen- No, I've sat on the pissy and snarky comments! You have not missed much from me, I promise!
Thanks AP and good suggestion, yes its a job with the county, and I looked up the website online last night - the monster ad did not give a contact name, but that should be easy enough to find out.
CK I agree I see alot of behavior on blogs where there is alot of ego stroking and pacifying of feelings, and in those cases, I will often not comment at all - especially if the person seems to be one that needs that type of stroking, rather than go against how I feel.. I will keep my mouth shut. In real life, however, I find it alot harder to keep my mouth shut - and will just give my 2 cents, like it or not!!
Tee why so pissy, snarky and bitchy feeling tonight!?
Its snowing again!!!
CK, I've never claimed to be typical in how I view things and freely admit I'm probably in the minority on this one. It also might be why I never get invited to parties anymore. :-D I'm all about being practical and logical...I don't do head pats and hugs very well, at least not genuinely, repeatedly. If there's a problem, let's solve it. Why waste time patting on someone?
Karen- I'm not sure, to be honest with you. I had a bit of a disagreement with my mother that has left me feeling irritated. It's not easy being a grown woman of 28 years old and still living with Mom and Dad. It's a fine line to walk... respecting their rules and authority since I'm under their roof and still being an adult.
I think that is the majority of it. Just having one of those days is all! No biggie. I'll get over it soon! Please send some snow my way!
Given what you're saying AP and Karen, there must have been a lot of self-muzzling and duct tape use in the past.
As I was somewhat new to the blog world, I kept quiet a lot. Observing, learning. Biting tongue.
AP- You know what I find funny? I understand what you are saying. You are a no nonesense kind of gal that has the ability to speak your mind with conviction. You are very good at wording what you want to say. You come across as very polite, sweet, thoughtful...
You were the first person to reach out to me after Krista said those nasty things in regards to Baby V's birth. You have continued to reach out to me as other things have happened. Quite frankly, I consider you to be one of the most supportive friends that I've got. So while I understand that you don't consider yourself to be a hand holder, I've felt like you've held my hand and guided me through a lot of crap. For that, I'm so grateful.
"AP- Hi! I've been thinking about you all day for some reason. Sorry to hear that you're in a rough mood. Anything specific going on that you want to talk about or just life in general? I'm feeling bitchy so I can sympathize!"
Cut loose, Tee...get it out!
I'm fine, really, just sick to death of idiots.
"Given what you're saying AP and Karen, there must have been a lot of self-muzzling and duct tape use in the past."
On my part...absolutely. I'll suck it up and do so sometimes when I know the end result could be waking up and finding myself locked away from many I care about.
AP- I'm rather sick of idiots too! For me, there really isn't much else to be said. Just sick of a few things in my life and can't figure out a way to change them.
All I need is some solid sleep tonight and all will be well in the morning!
"So while I understand that you don't consider yourself to be a hand holder, I've felt like you've held my hand and guided me through a lot of crap. For that, I'm so grateful."
Tee, that's truly one of the nicest compliments I've ever gotten...thank you so much.
CK yes - have been biting my tongue and holding back alot lately... have had it with a few people... but I just keep my mouth shut and don't stir up troubles.... maybe thats how I differ from you AP - not that you stir shit, but you say how you feel, probably keeps you from getting an ulcer or something!!
Tee I know how it is from the other perspective with having an adult child living with me - Ang was living with me for over a year, some of it while pregnant and on bedrest, but then having Tay and becoming a mom, and going through so much shit with her relationship with her boyfriend, and there again, I did alot of tongue holding and tried to be supportive without being overly involved! Just because she was depending on me at the time for the majority of her support and care, it wasn't up to me to help her make major decisions in her life. I tried to just be there for her as a mom, but keep enough distance for her to still feel like an "adult" rather than a child. But.. it was hard sometimes! So I feel for you - but know its probably hard on your mom at times too! So - like AP just said - go ahead and cut loose and get it out!!!
Tee, I hope you can get some decent sleep. I"m off to try in a bit, myself. Maybe.
AP- I meant every word of it. I have really grown fond of you and have come to treasure our friendship. (even if it is an odd mis-match!)
"maybe thats how I differ from you AP - not that you stir shit, but you say how you feel, probably keeps you from getting an ulcer or something!!"
Yes, I say how I really feel or I walk away for good, as I did on SIP. I won't linger and drop passive/aggressive little hints.
In a past life, I was pretty judgemental and critical. My kids have made me challenge those attitudes.
I don't agree with some of the decisions they've made, but they have their lives to live, and get to make their own choices.
To counter my past behavior with them, I've needed to work to curtail any hint of criticism now, in order to change the nature of our relationship. And to let them know I respect their independence.
It's tough to figure this all out.
Tee I think alot of us are an odd mismatch- I think thats why a blog/board like this works, we are a really good mix of people! enough of a differing opinion to make it interesting, but enough respect to get along most times in spite of the differences.... I am enjoying most of the people on all these boards, and am learning to just ignore the ones that annoy me!!
Lol...Tee, we are that, aren't we? We're okay with the other's faults and flaws and failures, but focus on the good.
Karen- I'm so glad that you are willing to give me a different perspective to all of this! I know it's hard on my parents too. Today we sat down to play some board games together and wound up playing for three hours! I could barely sit up by the time we were done but it was so worth it. The time together like that... relaxed and enjoyed... really helps.
Yes, we are a mis-matched group! I can learn so much from each person and that's what I'm aiming to do. Everyone has something to teach me and I'm sure I have something to teach everyone. It's such a blessing to have people to come "talk" to!
AP- It's great, ain't so?! Couldn't ask for anything more!
Its almost harder to parent adult children than when they are little. When they are little they may not like it but they pretty much accept you as their role model and the authority figure... some rebel but they know that you are it. When they are adults, they have the choice to block you from their lives if they are given more critism and judgement than they care to deal with. Its hard to find that balance between caring and loving them and wanting the best for them, and knowing that they are going to have to learn the hard way... so you have to sometimes let them make mistakes that sometimes hurt!!
AP I admire the ability to state how you feel or walk, and not be passive agressive. I sometimes keep my mouth shut, and just let things go. In real life I have had to try to make myself stand up for ME once in a while, I think I let people walk all over me and made decisions based on others feelings in the past, but I'm learning that I shouldn't do that all the time. Online its different. Like you said I don't want to wake up one morning locked out of the place in invisible friend land where all my invisible friends live. And to speak out to someone and chance that isn't worth it to me, so I skip over the parts I don't like - and contribute to the parts that I do like! and there is alot to like!
Tee yes, its a good way to hear other viewpoints and take from them what pertains to your own life! and just learning about other people and how they live, I find it all very very interesting and love making friends this way. Sometimes I have something to offer someone else, most times, I can just listen and learn! Internet was a wonderful invention!!
"To counter my past behavior with them, I've needed to work to curtail any hint of criticism now, in order to change the nature of our relationship. And to let them know I respect their independence.
It's tough to figure this all out."
CK, you are a wise woman. You really are. And you're quite right that it *is hard to figure all this out. Jake and I are going through a thing where he really wants to concentrate on his music over college and here? There's no hope of him doing so. He is thinking he wants to move up to his friend in Cleveland so he's closer to Detroit and the mom part of me is screeching inwardly and occasionally outwardly about this idea. But that logical, black and white part of me is banging on the door and yelling that he's right and I need to be behind him here. That's a better place for him to be to focus on what he loves and remember how I felt having my dreams discounted as nothing? He's a brilliant musician, no doubt. One of many, yes, but do I support him or not? Repeating CK, it's tough to figure all this out.
Cleveland isn't far from me AP - 30 minutes or so. Its hard to know when to support their ideas, and when to try to tell them your feelings - especially when it will involve distance, and pulling further from you physically. Yes, its very tough to figure all this out, I'm still figuring, and mine are 27, 24, and 20!
AP,
I send courage to you for that one.
"And to speak out to someone and chance that isn't worth it to me, so I skip over the parts I don't like - and contribute to the parts that I do like! and there is alot to like!"
Yes, indeed. And that's why it was so damn hard for me to decide to leave SIP. I knew I'd be leaving so many I cared about so much. Just know you are safe here, at least. No bad shocks, no kicking out. Say what you wish and it'll be hashed out until it's settled, one way or another, but no one ever needs to fear being kicked off. I couldn't do it to anyone if I tried, the way this is set up.
CK- I echo what AP said. Your wisdom is real and heartfelt.
Karen- Well, as somebody who woke up to find themselves banned from a group, I can tell you that it really hurts. More than I thought it could. It was unacceptable for it to go down the way it did, both for me and Kristin.
As a result of that, I'm really struggling with speaking my mind here. I'm sure everyone can understand why. It'll take some time for me to feel like I've got my feet firmly planted on the ground. AP has made me feel very welcomed here. The rest is up to me.
Karen, I might have to get some more advice from you later on. It's good to be able to see it from the other side.
The doctored up lemon pudding has kicked in and I'm wiping out. Praise the Lord! I'm going fold the last little load of clothes and headed to bed. See ya'll tomorrow!
AP nobody that is here - so far - other than that woman that was insulted for Shannon saying OLD - has bugged me enough to speak out to them!! And even though you walked out of SIP I'm glad most of us found you over here, and I'm glad you created this. I would have tried to keep up with your blog, and anyone else that doesn't want to go back to SIPs but this format is so much better than just reading blogs, I'm glad to be involved in this type of format again with so many good people!!! So thank you AP!!
Tee yes, I do understand what you mean about it being unacceptable for you and Kristin both, and that is one thing that I have seriously had to sit on my hands and bite my lips to keep quiet about! I hope you (or Kristin) don't feel as if my keeping quiet in any way means that I sided against you, because I don't think its right for anyone to be banned without being heard - and walking out like AP and SW and others did might be the better way to handle things, but there are probably many that wouldn't walk out of SIPS for fear of losing touch with so many ...and I'd hate to lose touch with any of them.... But my silence in no way means that I approve or agree - just so you know!!
And any time I can give you my point of view as the mom - just let me know - I'd be glad to tell you how it feels from this side of things!!
"AP,
I send courage to you for that one."
Thanks, CK. I'm beginning to accept it's going to happen and trying to focus on the bright side. Plus, he is truly good at what he does. Let him try it for a couple of years to see if he's really better than most. If he is, I've done the right thing and he'll never forget it. If he's not, I've still done the right thing by supporting him in it and giving him a place come home to when he gives up. Hard as it is now, it's going to be win-win for me in the end. I keep asking myself what I would have wanted my folks to do for me about my art and this is it. That all said, it still sucks that he may go that far away.
I appreciate being able to ramble on about stuff tonight. Thanks for hearing and responding with your perspectives and thoughts.
AP,
A win-win. Yes. And you wear your own experience well as Jake's mom.
AP I agree that you will be in a win win position no matter how things work out for Jake, and if things don't work out and he ends up coming home to FL with you and going to college in a few years, you will still be the mom that opened the door and *let him go - and you will be the mom who will open the door and *let him back in - That is the kind of mom Jake needs you to be for him! But yes, it will suck if he goes to Cleveland! What type of music does he play? Maybe he'll be at a local place some time soon and I can go see him and report back to you how he is doing *in person!!
AP,
So many people repeat the mistakes of their parents. You have learned from them.
I feel lucky - i think my parents did a pretty good job raising me - I think I was able to take their example and build on it. they were not affectionate at all - and that is one thing I improved on - I never ever heard I love you growing up from my parents, I know they loved me, they just didn't say it. I said it daily to my kids, I still do- the end of every phone conversation is I love you - My dad said I love you to me for the first time that I could ever remember about 3 days before he died... better late than never!
CK, yes, I ;earned from my parents. Like most kids, I was full of "when I'm a parent, I won't do that!", only I remembered. It stuck with me. So many times I just ask myself, what I would have *needed at that age and hard as it is to hear the answer I give myself, I still give it. I refuse to repeat their mistakes.
Karen, his music is sort of a blend of jazz, electronic and IDM. Very haunting, very futuristic and emotional. He's found a couple of others and while they're all far away from one another, thanks to the internet they can be an actual group. It's gorgeous stuff if you like that genre and I'll be shocked if they don't hear from the demo CDs we've been mailing out.
I would love to hear some of it AP - I like such a variety of music, would be interested to hear that!
I agree with the thinking what would I have *needed at that age, rather than what would I have *wanted at that age, because alot of the time, what they *need and what they *want are two different things. I try still to do that with my kids - as I did when they were growing up. Ours was the house that the kids all came to as teens, and I'm glad that they felt comfortable enough with our home to have their friends over, even though it got so hectic at times!
Think I need to get off this computer and get to bed, I feel like crap tonight! We are supposed to be rearranging our living room tomorrow - I am going to need rest to feel better and be in the mood to do that tomorrow!!
Night all!
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