Friday, April 16, 2010

Mrs. Neely.


All  women should live so long as to be this kind of  lady!

Toward the end of Sunday service, the Minister asked, "How many of you have forgiven your  enemies?"  Eighty percent held up their hands. The Minister then repeated his question.  All responded this time, except one small elderly  lady.

"Mrs. Neely? Are you not willing to forgive your enemies?"

"I don't have any," she replied, smiling sweetly.

"Mrs. Neely, that is very unusual.  How old are you?"

"Ninety-eight," she replied. The congregation stood up and clapped their hands.

"Oh,  Mrs. Neely, would you please come down in front and tell us all how a person can live ninety-eight years and not have an enemy in the world?"

The little sweetheart of a lady tottered down the aisle, faced the congregation, and said,  
"I outlived the bitches." 

(courtesy of Kaytie)
It's Friday.  Payday for many.  I know money is tight for everyone but don't forget about  Caring For Chris.  How about passing on eating out for a week and giving what you save there?  You and he both will be healthier for it.  If nothing else, contribute towards a blow job fund, will you?  Just try to help and I promise you'll feel all self-righteous and special for it. 

309 comments:

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Amy said...

CK, I wish. Boss having surgery so she's taking 12 weeks off beginning end of June. I will be tied to my desk, but at least it will be quiet.

PJ said...

RF - how many pull-ups did you go through that weekend?

Amy said...

grr blogger ate my post

CK boss having surgery so she's taking 12 weeks off starting the end of June. At least it will be quiet.

RF lol. Smashing Pumpkins had an album called Chocolate Starfish and the Hot Dog Flavored Water a loooong time ago. Bella just reminded me of that.

Erin said...

RF- Laughing at your quote "I still felt like shit". So did she!! Lol.
It is stormy. Which means I can actually sit down from gardening, lacrosse, etc.
SW- I need your lawn people. i just bought a shit ton of plants too. But the slave girl has to put them in!

Angie said...

Amy, I'm doing well, thanks! Next Supper Club is Sunday, August 25th. We're having a progressive supper where we go to each member's house (four houses total) for a course. I've got the first course, appetizers. I need some suggestions, actually.

I've had a recipe from Giada (I think) that I wanted to make called beef pops, which are beef tenderloin cubes and pineapple chunks on skewers grilled and served with a parsley sauce. So I was thinking on playing on what the most pretentious supper club member did when he had appetizers at the last progressive supper. He served a "trio of bacon," which consisted of a bacon wrapped scallop, a pasta with bacon in it, and a mini blt. I'm thinking about doing a "trio of beef," which will annoy him a bit, and I still need two beef dishes in addition to the beef pops. I have a new recipe I haven't tried for some baked beef sliders (beef mixture baked on rolls). Anybody have a beef recipe that could be adapted as an appetizer?

Erin said...

I just typed in a comment. Hit post and it is gone. Sigh.
That Kathryn...she's a sharp one ;)

Amy said...

Blogger is sucking...this is my third attempt at this.

CK, my boss is having surgery so she's taking 12 weeks off starting the end of June. At least it will be quiet.

RF, Bella just reminded me of a Smashing Pumpkins album called "Chocolate Starfish and the Hot Dog Flavored Water". Ah...memories.

Amy said...

Blogger is sucking...this is my third attempt at this.

CK, my boss is having surgery so she's taking 12 weeks off starting the end of June. At least it will be quiet.

RF, Bella just reminded me of a Smashing Pumpkins album called "Chocolate Starfish and the Hot Dog Flavored Water". Ah...memories.

Amy said...

Blogger is sucking...this is my third attempt at this.

CK, my boss is having surgery so she's taking 12 weeks off starting the end of June. At least it will be quiet.

RF, Bella just reminded me of a Smashing Pumpkins album called "Chocolate Starfish and the Hot Dog Flavored Water". Ah...memories.

Angie said...

Dang, I think blogger ate a post.

T@iy@ said...

Oh my. Seriously I think it is better when I go away and you get going, because then I am giggling hysterically for ten minutes catching up! Never going to be able to eat a Brach's Chocolate Star again, btw. Thanks, Shannon!

kristin said...

Amy! Erin! Good to *see you!

...still catching up!

kristin said...

i see blogger is having fun with everyone again -seriously - subscribe through e-mail and you can see all the posts!

Margo said...

Taiya - how is your friend doing?

I learn so much from you girls - I had no idea porn stars bleach their butts, what a job that must be...

T@iy@ said...

Margaret- not sure. She has returned my phone call. She went to the lawyer yesterday. Don't want to push her.

T@iy@ said...

*hasn't

Amy said...

Seriously, it posts on a delay? WTH? LOL pls ignore my multiple posts...since this is Daisy, there will be no deleting! ;)

kristin said...

hey amy! How are you doing?

Jennifer-Lynn said...

Hiya all.

SW!

KaytieJ, the wine site has my real name on it. If you would like to see, e-mail me at belladonna1125@gmail.com. Thanks for asking!

Jennifer-Lynn said...

What I want to know is, how do you get into the line of work of bleaching assholes? I never saw that option at Career Day.

bookjunkie said...

Hmmm... starfish bleach technician? I missed that option, too. Talk about an odd job. Gotta pay the bills somehow though.

Margo said...

The Shining is on AMC - I've never watched the entire movie.

T@iy@ said...

Which Shining? Jack Nicholson?

Erin said...

SW- What about some fancy meetball/sauce as an appetizer? Or even a chunk of filet wrapped in bacon.
Hey Kristin!
Blogger sucks.

Lisa said...

*cries*

I can't catch up. And I'm wheezing at "chocolate starfish". You're pretty awesome yourself, Shannon.

CK, I'm trying to get everything responded to! I was still working on it last night but it was too long and I got frustrated...will try to hit all the points tonight. And thanks for discussing this with me. ;-)

Erin! Amy! Oh, my goodness, I'm so happy to see you both!

kristin said...

Hey AP!

and RiM...if you are lurking...I am thinking about you and hope you had a good talk with your daughter and hope things are better.

RF, EL and Amy - I am really glad to *see you!

Elisabeth - did you get my e-mails from today? I resent them and added to 'em.

Lisa said...

"my, I'm doing well, thanks! Next Supper Club is Sunday, August 25th"

That would have been my 20th wedding anniversary if, you know, stayed married. I can expect a crying call my from ex-husband while you're dining on beef pops.

The Shining was the first movie I saw that actually scared me. It's a good movie. :-)

Lisa said...

Hiya, Kristin!

Hey, guys, I talked to Tee today and was telling her about Chris. She would like to help but doesn't have any actual money to give and was wondering if there might be anyone interested in buying some of her craft projects with every penny going to Chris. She's more than willing to donate them for the cause and will send me pictures of a few shortly. She will not be offended if it isn't feasible or anything, though. So, how could we go about doing something like this? Would it even be possible?

Amy said...

Blogger sucks. I just want to repeat that for my own sanity.

Kristin, BD, AP...yeah! :) Happy to see everyone together here.

kristin said...

lol Amy! We know, we know :)

Amy said...

And everyone else I've not mentioned, too! It is like a family reunion and you can't say everyone's name, but you're all here together, and that is what's important, right? :)

Erin said...

Glad to see that blogger sucks for *everyone, not just me!

AP- I thought of you the other day. I took my kid to look at a college, and we stopped by the beach afterwards. Painted my toenails in the car b/c I was wearing flip flops and had chipped polish!

Erin said...

Amy- how is your family doing? I imagine things are still pretty raw, but I hope it is getting better.

Amy said...

SW...how about a beef carpaccio? Alton Brown has a great recipe (and video if you can find it). It is high falutin' ;)

http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/alton-brown/beef-carpaccio-recipe/index.html

Lisa said...

Amy, yes, all being together is the best! I know I'm going to miss saying hi to someone so please don't be offended if I do. I'm just glad to see everyone. And I'm glad you did your toes, too. ;-)

EL, how's life been treating you?

Amy said...

Erin,

Thank you for asking...Baby Alive has been banished to the corner. As for the more human members of the family, Grandma is holding up well, my sister had her baby (James...he is so cute I want him for my own) in March, my daughter granted us our first er trip recently (nothing a little dermabond couldn't cure), and my mom had spinal surgery on Tuesday but is home now and doing well. If life wasn't crazy, it wouldn't be fun, right? Right?! How is the Lutz Family doing? Has spring sprung for you yet? :)

Amy said...

...and blogger is being an ass again.

Erin said...

AP- been good, but crazy busy!
Amy- thank god Baby Alive seems to have lost her pooptastic appeal! Spring has sprung, and as much as I like snow I found the 5 feet to be a bit much! Congrats on your new nephew. If life wasn't crazy, it would mean I was dead! Better than being bored though.

Amy said...

(that one would be the one to post)

Margo said...

Taiya - yep, the one with Jack.

T@iy@ said...

Margaret- Definitely creepier than the new one with Steven Weber. Both are pretty creepy, though.

Anonymous said...

Popping in to say if you have a clear night and can see the moon, look just below...Venus is so bright tonight!

Taking my white starfish back to the deck...

Shannon said...

HI AMY AND EL!!!!!!


See blogger hates everyone equally it is nice to see that. I think it started like last week but only hated me and KaytieJ that night.

Margo said...

Too creepy for me - I'm switching over to the 40 year old virgin.

Muliebrity said...

Have been playing at the new Casino tonight, so now I'm catching up! I hope you explain what Kathryn was yapping about, CK!

Muliebrity said...

My theory that blogger starts sucking when we need to change pages is holding up once again!

kristin said...

just saw the coolest thing. I went out to water my fern - which i have hanging on a tree. noticed something out of the corner out of my eye...on a little stub of a branch, maybe 3 inches or so, is this little bird, asleep. The thing did not budge! I went in and got my camera and took pics - still did not budge - the fern will have to wait.

Lisa said...

Kristin, how sweet!
Unless sit was dead. Was it dead?

Lisa said...

sit-it. Dammit.

kristin said...

i don't think so AP. It looked like a young bird.

kristin said...

btw - everyone send good vibes again - I am going to another job fair in the morning :) I even bought a business suit and new shoes.

Muliebrity said...

what kind of work are you looking for, Kristen?

kristin said...

teaching!

Muliebrity said...

I thought those jobs were supposed to be so easy to come by! Remember that lie we were told a few years ago? Teaching was supposed to be guaranteed!

Lisa said...

Ooooh, good luck to you! What do the suit and shoes look like? <--loves new clothing details

kristin said...

lol...I actually went to Palais Royal at lunch yesterday....and just so you know - I HATE to shop...anywho..I just started taking crap off racks...all the pant suits - then I went to the discount rack and found a brown one - had chocolate pants and a lighter brown 3 button jacket. It was cute and professional. Discount rack - 35.99, but then I bought LM a tractor shirt and a new pair of swim trunks and a matching tank top.

Shoes - went today at lunch to DSW, found a cute little pair of ballet like slippers - light brown and the toes are a brownish, bronze color with a little tie on it.

Lisa said...

It sounds cute...I like brown more than black or navy. It has a more friendly look to it. I am so grateful we don't have a DSW here, though. The closest is Orlando and I could probably spend enough to buy a new car in that place.

PJ said...

Back from an evening of TV with hubs. Netflix on line PBS special about trends in the digital world, internet addiction, on-line role playing games. It was just out in February.

Glad to see Amy is serving as our Resident Serial Poster. I think she's trying to make up for being gone for a while.

Kristin, your outfit sounds great. I think brown is "smarter" - as in more up to date - shows your creative side a bit more than black. Bronze is frosting on the cake!

PJ said...

Mulie,
I commented on Kathryn's contest post - asking her if she was "done" with JM, why was she asking JM to retweet her contest post.

She responded with an expected e-mail - which turned into an exchange where she escalated into "why don't you like me".

kristin said...

and I am quite proud of myself - I did it all by myself - I had employed my mom to go shopping with me on Sunday but it never happened...and I needed something and I think I did quite well. I will get the mom approval/disapproval tomorrow.

PJ said...

Apparently, all the twenty-somethings and teens who think they are so good at multi-tasking are really lousy at it. Our brains aren't wired that way.

A study was done with Stanford students - smart bunch - even they weren't good at it.

kristin said...

lol CK! I am not even going to go there.

PJ said...

Kristin,
Good luck with the job fair. You said you met someone from Minnesota who was a teacher - wanna share anymore?

PJ said...

And it is confirmed by JM's twit - she is at the same homeschooling convention my niece and her husband are at.

Erin said...

Kristin, good luck!! Your new outfit sounds great. I hate to clothes shop, and I am not a shoe girl, but I do like to look. I have excellent fashion sense....for other people. As I trudge around in old gym shorts, tshirt, and crocs!

cheryl said...

Hey Kristin - wishing you luck at the job fair. And I think your outfit sounds great, including the shoes!

Lisa said...

Oh, lord, EL...Crocs. I love Crocs and it's shameful just how much. I've got maybe 10 pair now and that's after I gave my mom a few to get her hooked, too.

CK, did they meet JM? Or at they twits, too?

kristin said...

lol EL - I have the shirt I wore to work (black) and sweat pants (blue) with paint splotches and my adidas flip flops. I just went and checked the mail - neighbors are out - awesome!

I have no fashion sense at.all.

Hey Cheryl!

Thanks for reminding me about that CK, I need to get in contact with her. She works in a not so good school district, but they are always hiring. I think I might bite the bullet and just apply over there to get my foot in the door. She is a really nice girl, her boyfriend is being treated by my BIL.

Okay, my mom is coming over tomorrow to take LM to swim lessons and his playroom - a disaster - so I must go tackle it - I'll be in and out.

I just want to crawl into bed, but I also need to find my portfolio :)

Anonymous said...

Hi girls! So I didn't even realize today until someone kindly emailed me that Chris & his hedonism were causing a big old hollaballoo over at MWOP. Apparently "mirror mirror" thought by Chris labeling himself "a big fat flaming queen".......we were HIDING his sexuality! Gee whiz, I'm sorry we were all cloak & dagger about it!

I posted this in earlier comments and Twitter, but Chris feels so very loved and accepted by this group, I wanted to make sure his voice was heard tonight.

Regarding "Mirror Mirror".......
Chris said (paraphrased, I think this is his version of 'the lady doth protest too loudly') "I think that MIRROR must be mounted on the door of a CLOSET!"

And on a more serious note, I asked him if he was struggling with the idea that someone might not want to help him simply because he is gay, or if someone were to ask for their donation back because they hadn't realized he was gay.

It's really a sad state when someone with a massive brain injury "gets it" better than someone who doesn't.......
He said "God gave His Son for me just as much as He did for you, for Mckmama, for that woman [Mirror Mirror].......it may have taken me a long damn time to get here, but I am grateful to know FOR A FACT.......THAT GOD LOVES ME......NO MATTER WHO *I LOVE."

I tell you what girls.......before his stroke, we had let our friendship lapse and stagnate. We were buddies when I was in my teens and he was in his 20s...he was the Cool Big Bro. Then we got older, he started excelling at his work, I got married, we each lived outside Texas for a time.......basically we got out of our relationship, exactly what we put into it...a couple phone calls a year and Christmas at mom & dads where we'd swear we would talk or email every day and then by new years.......back in our own habits.

I'm not trying to bore everyone with our family history. I just can't encourage everyone strongly enough NOT to take those relationships for granted. When I walked into room A-12 of the Seton Medical Center ICU, my first thought was, please God don't take him from us. My SECOND thought......was oh no, I can't even remember the last time I told my brother "I love you". And it panicked me.

I hate that my brother had a stroke. I hate that a healthy, strong willed, self sufficient beautiful man suddenly dropped where he stood and was nearly lost to this world. I HATE HATE HATE watching my 6 foot tall 180lb brother near tears because he has to ask me to help with the most basic of tasks.


I know all of you have given or been given the "silver lining" speech. And while I would give anything and I mean ANY thing to turn back time so my brother never had to go through this hell.......it is wonderful having my best friend back. We laugh and cut up like when we were kids. We eat lucky charms at midnight, recall outrageous behavior at bygone family events. We snort and wheeze with laughter over the tiniest, simplest things. And sometimes over nothing!!

I'm blessed to have a second chance to nurture this relationship with my brother. I know that everyone here has someone they probably treat just like I treated Chris....... You love them but life gets in the way of being as present as you should, and they are probably acting the same toward you.

I'm sorry I rambled on like a tipsy bridesmaid at the reception=)
But just as Chris feels it's his duty to educate people about checing their blood pressure, I feel like it's my duty to remind people to take that time, book that ticket, pick up that phone. It really could be the last chance you have. God willing, it WON'T be.......but if it WAS, you would be so happy you took the time.

Lisa said...

I meant to tell y'all, if any of you have Publix' close by, they've got killer deals this week. They've got the family pack of sirloin products again at $2.79 a pound. Mine had a nice sized sirloin tip roast, two thinnish sirloin somethingorother steaks I'll cut up for stir-fry and 2 packs of ground sirloin for under $16. They've got good bogo sales, whole chickens for 99 cents a pound, all Windex products bogo and many had a $1 off coupon to boot, a 20 pack of canned Coke for %5.99 but with a $1 coupon stuck on the box *and a coupon for a free box of Nature's Valley granola bars...just tons of good sales and coupons. Be sure to pick up both coupon fliers in the front, the ones separate from the weekly sales flier. Oh! Glade candles bogo at $3.49 which is high for 1 but a good deal for 2 and then with a $1 off coupon in a flier. Anyway, I'll hush but wanted to alert anyone with a Publix close by.

Anonymous said...

While AP is rambling on about her meat deals, I would like to say that at this moment, I hate Jay. What a music snob. Where is BD? Jay thinks that Soul Coughing could have been a band without Mike Doughty. We are having a fight about this. Like, a serious fight.

Back me up, BD. Mike Doughy WAS Soul Coughing. And, he is a great singer/songwriter.

I'm going to bed mad regarding a fight about music. WTF.

PJ said...

AP - I don't know if they've met - my niece doesn't tweet.
I think many of the fundamental christians there are NOT going to appreciate Jennifer's self-absorbed personality or fake Christianity.

This niece is a twit.

PJ said...

Elisabeth - your story about reconnecting with Chris is heartfelt and sweet. Very genuine.

Erin said...

AP- I have more crocs than I know what to do with. They are my crack.

Elisabeth- my brother too had a stroke. He was 21, and unfortunately it was a side effect and first sign of brain cancer. I *know how hard it is to have to take care of your brother in this capacity. how hard it is to help him to and from the toilet. Feed him. Bite your tongue to stop from spitting out the words he is so struggling with. Closing the door on the 'before' brother, and realizing how thankful you are for what you still have. I wish you both nothing but the best.

Lisa said...

Elisabeth, thank you for that post...you're right, both of you. For all our joking and loving y'all, there are good lessons to be learned here and a reminder is always appreciated. I'm so glad you "found" one another again and I'm glad you both found us, too.

People are petty. Fortunately, that makes them more fun to laugh at. :-) Getting down to brass tacks, Jesus would help Chris if He could. That's enough of an example for me.

Muliebrity said...

CK, Why does Kathryn care if you like her? She doesn't seem to care that I can't stand her illiterate ass!

Lisa said...

Yes, Crocs are like crack. I embrace the Croc crack.


CK, back when I homeschooled, we belonged to a group with a lot of very conservative Christians. I had to hold my tongue on many occasions but overall, they were a good bunch. They would not have tolerated JM and her talk of sex toys, arrests and financial failures at all.

Lisa said...

EL, how is your brother now?

PJ said...

Mulie,
And I can't stomach her brand of stupid!

PJ said...

I don't much like this niece. She's two faced, self-centered, selfish, and treats my sister and her husband like crap.

She might be enamored with JM's self-proclaimed celebrity status. But she'd talk trash about JM behind her back in a second.

Lisa said...

I think Kathryn should come here. *nods*

Erin said...

Umm. Deceased. Any way that I answer that sounds horrible.

Erin said...

CK- your niece sounds kinda like JM!

Muliebrity said...

Ok, I totally didn't see they beautiful posts from EL and Elisabeth before I started in on stupid ass Kathryn! As odd as it sounds, I actually sort of envy the relationship you and your brother now have. It seems so close and genuine.

Muliebrity said...

AP, Please, no Kathryn. I mean, please?????

PJ said...

Mulie - I'm with you on that one.

Erin said...

But Kathryn wood bee fuun!

Muliebrity said...

Why should she come here? I hate to see a person ganged up on, but I truly make an exception for her. I don't like to tell people off. Even if the are illiterate and deserve it. I'm just happy not to have to read her on MWOP. Please don't summon her!

kristin said...

I second Mulie - I will hunt you down AP!

EL - so sorry {{{HUGS}}}

Elisabeth - thank you for that. I am glad you can be silly and laugh like that.

Where did my son get all these freakin' toys? OMG! I threw out a bunch of the cheapo McD's happy meal toys - and books...WOW! I can see the floor though.

Muliebrity said...

Don't even say you kind of like her, AP! I would have to accuse you of lying.

kristin said...

Me too Mulie - and I tried to be *nice to her without pointing out her stupidity.

Sorry Kathryn - if someone "tells on us" and you come over - but I think numerous people have pointed out your spelling errors on more than one occasion - yet you still do not take the time to proofread or use spell check.

Come on now!

kristin said...

and sucky....my throat is starting to hurt :(

Lisa said...

EL, I'm so very, very sorry. Ugh, I'm sorry I asked, too...I didn't mean to bring up anything hard for you. From what you said, I was thinking otherwise. :-( But I'll bet that makes Elisabeth and Chris both feel luckier than ever right now.

Mulie, what better place to lay into her and her speeeeecial brand of stupidity?

Really Frugal said...

AP with her Publix talk is trying to make me jealous. My region has Meijer instead. No sirloin, but I got good deals on their 11 items for $10 specials - including the Usually $2.49 muffin mixes with a 55 cent coupon attached. But I'd rather have sirloin.

Elisabeth, my son and his younger sister love each other, talk often, visit though they are 5 hours apart. But I honestly can't imagine either of them completely disrupting their lives to be with the other like you are for Chris. It might happen, but I can't picture it. I think what you are doing is exceptional.

Erin said...

S'ok AP. makes me appreciate things more.
Kristin- I hate happy meal toys. Sometimes they are good, but most of the time it is crap.

Muliebrity said...

I just don't like to see people picked on and I am NOT sticking up for her, but would feel bad not, since I basically hate her.

kristin said...

I had no idea what Publix was until it was discussed in one of the forums. We don't have that here either.

Muliebrity said...

Not sure if that made sense.

Muliebrity said...

Besides, Kathryn might try to tell me I look old again. I can't handle that right now. I'm too fragile. You wouldn't want me to break down, would you, AP? That would be bad for the baby.

Muliebrity said...

Good night! Just heard my baby fall out of bed, so I best go and check on him.

PJ said...

The Husband and I are going to wrestle with the 10 lb mini doxie to clip his toenails. Dachshunds HATE having their paws messed with.

Hope we survive.

Anonymous said...

Erin, I am so so sorry. My heart just breaks for you. I mourn the losses you must feel on a daily basis. I am just...SO sorry. Your comments about biting my tongue to give him the time to say the word........oh how I can see you've been there. I am just sick for you.

Really Frugal said...

Good Luck, CK.

Sweet MIL and her Gentleman Friend get Happy Meals just so they can save the toys to give to us for the grands. Then their irritated parents toss the junk. But it's still sweet.

Lisa said...

Mulie, Kristin, no worries...I'm not about to ask her here and even if she came, she'd still not figure it out if we browbeat her to death. I"m just teasing. :-) But now, if she does come, I'll offer her up the standard "there ain't no rules here so be warned" announcement and step back.

kristin said...

alright ladies, I'm out. Mulie - hope the son is okay :(

CK - have fun and hope you have cheetos - and I think you should have a martini too.

Goodnight!

Anonymous said...

Kristin, I'm going to be emailing you tomorrow! And everyone, we are still going to post Chris' video thank you! Something's wrong with the site......can someone go to http://care4chris.110mb.com/ and see if it loads?? We can't get it to load at all... and we want to upload our video.......

Really Frugal said...

It popped right up for me Elisabeth.

Oopsie Daisy said...

*** there's a new one up ***

Oopsie Daisy said...

Elisabeth, I got a message that traffic was to heavy for it to load. I'm hoping this is a good thing!

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