Sunday, March 27, 2011

Praise Jesus and pass that Fong Wong Gai, will you?

Ah, it *is good to be back!  It's time for everyone to put on their pantyhose and half slips because it's Sunday morning and we're all going to meet up in San Diego for church.  This is our destination...www.fcsbcsd.org.
Yes, indeedy, it's the First Chinese Southern Baptist Church of San Diego and I bet they're going to throw us a covered dish lunch...woooo!  Does it get any better? I think not.

58 comments:

The Original RiM said...

I'm here, but you should have been a little bit more clear, in that we should probably be wearing *more than just our half slips and pantyhose. I got some awfully strange looks ...

◄ Lisa aka AP► said...

Oh, well, if it helps, they might have been just looking at your blonde hair. :-D

◄ Lisa aka AP► said...

Now, look, I know people are here.
*eyebrow quirk*
Everyone too chicken to say anything? :-P

◄ Lisa aka AP► said...

Awww, crap. Tina, can you make BWOP un-prvate again, please? Or send me an invite? I wanted to go read some more. Thanks!

Muliebrity said...

Stopping in to smell the Daisies on this snowy spring evening. Hope you all have weathered this loooong winter!

Karen said...

I'm so glad I made it to church today!! I've been waiting FOREVER to see Robin in a half slip and pantyhose!! WOOT!!!

I'm glad Daisy is back Lisa!!!

Now where is everyone??

◄ Lisa aka AP► said...

Mulie, hi!! And Karen, everyone is quiet...lurking. Surely someone can say something obnoxious enough to get people talking. Where's Tammi?

Karen said...

Obnoxious... hmmm. I will think on that!! LOL

Tammi said...

Obnoxious? Summer is coming...don't be fat. LOL!!

◄ Lisa aka AP► said...

Oh, jeeeez, Tammi.
*hikes up my plus sized Hanes Her Ways*

Tammi said...

You said obnoxious???

Tammi said...

I could do my famous do's and don'ts of a woman....those are valuable! hahahahaha

Shannon said...

So if Tammi can say fat I can say old :)

Shannon said...

So since summer is coming we, ladies, need to either fix our fat old asses or come to the realization that no matter how bad we look on the beach there is someone who looks worse....just remember you can never look as bad as a 60 year old man squeezing his 300 lbs in a speedo :)

◄ Lisa aka AP► said...

Shannon, Tammi can say fat and you can say old if I can say retarded. Does that work for y'all?

Two things:
1) I would look worse than the 60 year old fat man in the Speedo if I was in anything less than a muumuu.

2) I need to hear Tammi's famous do's and don'ts of a woman.

Also, look...I found a story about the "Kill Teams" in American media. Finally.
http://politics.blogs.foxnews.com/2011/03/28/pentagon-reacts-alleged-afghanistan-kill-teams

Tammi said...

Ok, here we go.

#1. Summer is coming. For God sakes do no wear a tank top without a proper bra. And not that ugly ass, worn bra that I can see poking out. A nice one that FITS!! Back fat is never pretty...leave the folds to the Sharpei dog.

#2. Never drive an Escalade. Please. They are straight up ghetto. Everyone thinks it. You are not the cool soccer mom. I wonder whether you are a Blood or a Crip.

#3. Dress your age. I don't care if you look great, and think you can rival Cindy Crawford. We all "look" our age. We might look good for our age, but you look 40. Sorry. And now you look 40 and desperate with the A&F shirt on. Give it back to your 12 yr old.

#4. Bathing suits. This is tricky. Do wear a two piece in Mexico. It's Mexico, nuff said. Do not wear your thong bathing suit when your 17 yr old and his friends are over. You are not Tamra Barney of the OC...she looks dumb too. Be modest. Get a cute one piece or a tankini. I will break out the two piece but it covers.

#5 Back to bras....wear a push up, yeah that's you...! Unless you have had a boob job, no one wants to see your headlights out of alignment. Hike them up, and get fitted. Boob spillage is ok for porn stars, not you.

#6 Fingers and toes. For cripes sake, keep them short and neat. And keep those heels smooth. I don't want to see your nasty ass chipped toes and heels in flip flops. And while were at it, make sure your flip flops fit. Hangovers are a no no.

#7. Men. Make sure your man looks good too. There is no excuse for they way he looks. Buy him some clothes...that Hawaiian shirt with the 10 yr old cargo shorts and not cute anymore. Get him some flat fronts, maybe a sports fitted t-shirt. If you are gonna take the time to look good, he can too.

#8 Makeup. Wear it. Yes, wear it. You might think your au naturel look is nice, it isn't. I don't mean glob it on, but a little concealer and powder go a long way. Slap on some mascara, gloss. You are ready. That took 5 mins. Don't give me the song and dance it takes too long.

#9. Hair. Oh, here we go. Roots. COLOR THEM! If you don't want roots, don't color. There is a little thing called 'upkeep' You aren't gonna upkeep, then don't start. And please, trim your hair. And don't have it go past your boobs. Much longer you are begging Oprah to nab you for a makeover. And please, please, stop getting that ugly ass stacked haircut! This is not the Flock of Seagulls. No matter what your man says, he hates it, trust me.

#10 and the most important. MUFFIN TOPS!!! This is not Costco. They are ugly, always. And don't think by wearing that black t-shirt we don't see it. We do. We all do. Buy the next size up. And if you are gonna wear low slung jeans with a muffin top.....I have no words. For one thing none of us wants to see your coin slot....figure that out. Just don't do it. You jumping up and down in the dressing room to get those jeans up...next size. You rolling around on the ground holding in your breath? Next size up. You will look better, trust me.

:)

The Original RiM said...

::makes note to self about the Flock of Seagulls thing:::

Shannon said...

LOL Robin I am focused on #8 and #10.....Now I am not sure what to do when my lower half is one size and my middle section is another LOL.....I mean of course there would be the whole work off the muffin top but dammit if I go a size larger in the pants dept I wont be able to keep them up since it appears that I was only in the muffin top line and missed hips and ass all together

Tammi said...

#8 is easy....10 not so much. I am like you, have no ass so it's hard. Have you tried Express jeans? They don't do that.

Shannon said...

Ok gonna sound like a bumpkin but where do they have Express jeans??? I would love to find some jeans that look good and are comfortable.

And #8 is just more of bring out the freaking satchel of makeup and use it LOL. I swear I have an addiction to buying makeup but I hardly ever wear it.

The Original RiM said...

Shannon - you should probably send it all to me, and I will go through it and evaluate it and um ... dispose of in a safe place the things you don't need. ::nod::

Jill said...

You've never been to Express Shannon? Get thee to a mall (or TJMaxx, Marshalls, or Ross- you can find Express jeans there too)

Thank you for the valuable information Tammi.

Shannon said...

LOL I will have to keep that in mind for sure Robin....Go through it once a month and send it over to you for 'disposal' LOL

The Original RiM said...

There are Express stores in Portland, Shannon, but I am not sure about where you are for sure. I could swear I've seen one there, but I'm not positive.

Shannon said...

I will have to check and see....dont know that I will go to Ptown for jeans though since it is like a 2 hour drive and I hate driving in that city

The Original RiM said...

I've never tried on a pair of Express jeans, so I know zip about them. Just blathering away!

Shannon said...

I cant find a store near me...on their site it only does a search 50 miles out and there was nothing...I am not going to be able to check that one out since I dont like to buy clothes especially jeans without being able to at least see how the brand fits.

Tammi said...

Oh, oh!

I thought of another while I was showering. LOL

Shaving and waxing. Please do it, especially your pubes. I don't care if you have to get out mirrors, weed whackers, lion taming chairs, get that stuff clean and groomed. I do not want to see that one random feeler hair staring at me. You aren't a cat, you don't need it to navigate spaces.

Tammi said...

And I love Express! Their ReRock jeans are the bomb. Darn, you don't have one near!

Shannon said...

"I do not want to see that one random feeler hair staring at me. "


BWAHAHAHAHA

That is a horrible visual but I can so relate!!! Pubes and bathing suits do not mix!!!

◄ Lisa aka AP► said...

"I do not want to see that one random feeler hair staring at me. You aren't a cat, you don't need it to navigate spaces."

Oh, Tammi...Tammi. Honestly, this side of you just cancels out all that dumb shit you say from time to time and makes knowing you soooo worth it. ;-D

Tammi said...

:::preen::::

Shannon said...

So I have been involved in a discussion regarding Libya and our involvement in the Middle East and how we had to go into Libya because they needed our help because Gadaffi was killing his own citizens.

My stance on this is what makes them so special? Why is it that he or any other leader in a Middle Eastern nation starts either doing or just threatening to kill their own citizens the world is on it. Yet when you look further south in Africa where millions have been killed in attempts of genocide there is no action at all?

I mean you can look up information about the genocide in Africa and see men, women, children, babies still being worn by their mothers laying dead in the dirt. Entire villages wiped of ever living creature and yet there is nothing done. A question I posed in regards to this is to ask why? Is it because these people are poor? Is it because they have nothing to offer strategy wise for the military? Is it because they have no resources? Is it because they are black? Why is it ok to turn blind eyes at the atrocities of Africa where it is happening every single day in many countries yet when it is Northern Africa we as a world are on it in a heartbeat?

Muliebrity said...

I am currently in violation of most, possibly all, of Tammy's rules. Good thing it's not summer yet.

And, Shannon, I have never understood why the lives of Africans are not valued. Big Pharma and people like Bill Gates also find it acceptable to use poor Africans as lab rats. The people are treated poorly and the ecosystem is being eroded. It is all around sickening.

Shannon said...

I agree Mulie....it is disgusting how they are seen as expendable and as lesser humans.

KaytieJ said...

Shannon - JMHO...

Oil production and oil fields.

I am also disgusted by France and other members of NATO, who have publicly and repeatedly denounced the US for actions in Iraq, and then France turns around and takes military action against Libya when it suits them. Where is the outcry from European nations against France for these actions?

Shannon said...

Zactly Kaytie. It is all about the money because oil equals money and money equals power.

This thing I found today made it all so clear to me. One of the items in it is: 1944: U.S. State Department memo refers to Middle Eastern oil as "a stupendous source of strategic power, and one of the greatest material prizes in world history." During U.S.-British negotiations over the control of Middle Eastern oil, President Roosevelt sketches out a map of the Middle East and tells the British Ambassador, "Persian oil is yours. We share the oil of Iraq and Kuwait. As for Saudi Arabian oil, it's ours." On August 8, 1944, the Anglo-American Petroleum Agreement is signed, splitting Middle Eastern oil between the U.S. and Britain.


It is from a timeline of US involvement in the Middle East and when oil was first discovered there around 1920...ya know when cars and shit were developing and bigger and better war machines....they acted like there werent already people living there or something and they could just have it all no problem.

Tammi said...

My stance is why do we go at all? Does it help? No. They are still going to kill each other and do all the other heinous acts they do. I feel we just stir up the hornets nest. I am sick of our men and women dying for those barbarian. I say let them kill each other til they are extinct.

Jill said...

Tammi are you secretly Ann Coulter? I think was the opening of one of her books ;)

Shannon said...

Ya know what Tammi I could totally and completely agree with ya on that one.

It is so stupid because these nations have been fighting like this since the dawn of time. They have never stopped. Nothing we do is going to make them stop and the only reason we even care is because of the oil and it is stupid as hell because like Libya only holds 2% of the world's oil supply.

◄ Lisa aka AP► said...

Well, my take on it is a little different...I think we're there because of Israel, in part. All of the unrest going on there is making Israel a bunch of nervous nellies and Libya is the Muslim country with the most unstable, drama-queen leader willing to go out dying. Even Iran's Ahmadinejad isn't a nutjob like Gaddafi is...and for the record, I have a (probably) weird respect and like for Ahmadinejad and don't find him to be terribly nutty at all. Anyway, aside from Pakistan, Libya is the most likely predominately Muslim country with nuclear/chemical capabilities to be a real threat to Israel. Add to that, Gaddifi has played, and has won, a game of cat and mouse with the US for many, many years so it's "personal" in that regard.

Secondly, at the risk of sounding like Glenn Beck (I'm so sorry!), it's way too detailed to explain here but do some googling and reading up on George Soros and Samantha Powers. Both are right up Obama's ass (or he's up there's...not sure, they may take turns and note I didn't call them butt plugs) and have many reasons for wanting us to attack Libya.

Lastly, let's just be real here...this is still a primarily white, male, Christian nation and there's just something about "us" as a nation that sadly loves a good, manly war. *insert Tim Taylor noises here* But because we're "Christian", it needs to be something we can justify in our own heads. And please know I'm speaking in very generic terms since I'm American and absolutely do not agree with this. Anyway, this primarily white nation doesn't give a damn about black Africans...they're just a step up from monkeys, after all. I mean, look at their ears. No threat there. They aren't smart enough to be threats and whatever religion they practice out there in the jungle isn't a threat to us so there's nothing to fight *against. But, since they aren't really people like "we" are, they also aren't worth fighting *for. They simply don't count. But the Middle East is different to "us"...and make no mistake, many, many Americans will tell you Libya is a Middle Eastern country. They're different than black people. They look more white or, at the very least, Hispanic. And Mexico is close to Texas so that means they're a lot like "us". That means people in the Middle East are nearly as smart as "us" but not smart enough to grasp how they need to *be like "us". They are just smart enough to be a threat and that makes "us" very worried since that means they have the technology to hurt "us' but lack the civilization and human refinement white people have to use it properly. Therefore, they are threats.

What kills me is that I really believed Obama, with his background, would be the one to get us past this bullshit. Instead, he seems to have embraced it.

◄ Lisa aka AP► said...

"or he's up there's"

*theirs.
Literacy. It's a beautiful thing.

◄ Lisa aka AP► said...

"Where is the outcry from European nations against France for these actions?"

I'd like to know the same. I know there are fierce rumors that Libya basically funded Sarkozy's campaign and my guess is, with the knowledge this is about to be released with proof, Sarkozy decided to get proactive in his PR damage control. But why other European nations aren't speaking out against France's hypocrisy is beyond me, too. Maybe it's the whole "I don't want to get involved" mentality?

◄ Lisa aka AP► said...

Serial posting at pushing 5am because I can't sleep...

"I say let them kill each other til they are extinct."

I hate agreeing with Tammi on political things. I really do. But...I agree here. Our reasons may differ, though, since, for me, it harkens back to Darwin and survival of the fittest. I doubt it does for Tammi. ;-)

Muliebrity said...

I always for get about the Israel factor in these scenarios.

Muliebrity said...

*forget

The Original RiM said...

Lisa agreed with Tammi about politics. It doesn't matter what happens in Libya or anywhere else, because the world is clearly going to end soon.

Shannon said...

Lisa dont even get me started on Israel because it will make me sound anti semitic and I most definitely am not but I am most definitely anti Israel!!!

KaytieJ said...

I still say it is about oil and big fields of unpumped oil. The Crazy Colon(el) would be stupid enough to blow up his rigs just like Saddam did in Iran.

Jill said...

Here you go Lisa: http://celebritybabyscoop.com/2011/03/25/pregnant-man-thomas-beatie-plans-for-fourth-child

"Pregnant man" and his wife are planning to have a 4th child. They are in serious debt and can't afford the ones they have. What is with these people?!?!

KaytieJ said...

"we refuse to let things beat us, and we don't want anyone's sympathy."

This is an excerpt from pregnant man link.

Sympathy? Hello! More like ire. Classic case of just because you can have one, does not mean you are entitled.

Muliebrity said...

They have three kids now and plan to have a fourth? Man, I miss a lot not having tv. And they don't have any money? Interesting. Sounds like everyone else I know having kids.

◄ Lisa aka AP► said...

"Lisa agreed with Tammi about politics. It doesn't matter what happens in Libya or anywhere else, because the world is clearly going to end soon."

No kidding. I still haven't forgiven her for being so pro-Bush, though. I may never, in fact. I bet she's anti-gay marriage, too.

"I still say it is about oil and big fields of unpumped oil."

Oh, I agree that's a part of it. I just don't think it's a huge part but you could be right.

Jill, why must you show me things like that link? It pisses me off under the best of circumstances and under the circumstance they're in? Bull. Shit. Freaks, they are...just freaks of nature with overblown senses of entitlement. I mean, I can shit in a mall flower planter if I *want to, but that doesn't mean I *should, and particularly not if I had some type of surgery that allowed me to shit out my nose because I felt like that's what I should have been born to do. No, I'd need serious therapy.

KaytieJ said...

Changing ones sex with hormones and surgery is not as simple as getting a nose job, Botox treatment, face lift, lip collagen, tummy tuck, liposuction, or breast implants. Those are all superficial remakes (Do not misquote me, any surgical remake is very serious).

In the cases that I have seen, surgical sex change requires intense screening and therapy before and after the surgery. I am not so familiar with just the hormonal shots since that is an outpatient treatment.

With that said, I am disgusted that an altered person and couple have purposefully chosen to have another child they cannot afford and we the tax payers will be supporting their entitlement decisions.

That couple is completely screwed up in their thinking.

Obviously, the *Man Turned into A Woman* is still thinking like a....MAN.

Tammi said...

Here's my question....they can't afford a child, then how in the heck did they pay for the surgeries?? Those had to be in the 10s of thousands...no?

Tammi said...

Lisa agreed with me again....must have been the quake, it altered lots of things...LOL

Oopsie Daisy said...

New post up...and hush, Tammi.
You make me nervous.

dutmoll irtrette said...

Hi! I found you on a internet search for Fong Wong Gai. It's one of my all-time favorite dishes. Currently there are no restaurants near me with this on their menu. Any advice on where to find a recipe? I'd buy a whole cookbook to get it. Thanks! jschaderok@yahoo.com

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